And one for you!

The many wonders!

2011-08-28T13:34:00.000+05:30

I have recently gotten myself hooked to the TED series of videos. Brilliant minds at work for what seems to be round the clock! And that, in art, in science, in economics, in whatnots! I find myself overwhelmed in a world of wonder and creation, and boy am I loving it!

Do visit the website yourself and have a look :)

What choices?

2011-08-25T04:08:00.000+05:30

We always concern ourselves with our freedom. Always have and always will. Whether it is a teenager deciding what to wear to their prom, or citizens of a sovereign begging to be left to their own private doing, freedom is one word that really wears down every single relevant cliché. We pedicure, manicure, puff-up and shower down our freedom; polish it till it sparkles like gems and place it on the highest vitrine in our collection called ego. Ever spared a minute to study what that means to us, no sir!

The situation seems more to demand for concern in a state (both) as that of us Indians. Be it in our culture or our nature, the society or the anthropology, we desi junta have not known how to deal with individualistic ideals such as freedom much- so rants aunt History. Find that ludicrously insulting do we now?

Analyse this. Our family structure is (the verb extending back to the origin of the timeline) not only heavily patriarchal but also equally patricentric. "Thou shalt let thy neighbours and thy friends and thy enemies rot in the gutters and massage thy papa's legs before anything else"- thus goes the manner of saying thank goodness Moses wasn't born in India. To hell with love-shuv and the hoollabalu, you have to respect your fathers...and mothers if you get the time. Well of course, seeing as how she'd be usually slaving around the house day in and day out, it'd rather that you respect her when she gets the time!

And when it's time to let your raging hormones take vent somewhere (pun intended cheekily), you don't go looking for love. That would be insane! You simply let your parents decide which hot chic or handsome hunk you get to fool around with. I mean really, who's going to get lucky? On a sidenote, I had this weird theory back in the day as to the reason arranged marriages were the law in the Indian system was brought about by some ugly looking bastard who decided he wouldn't let chics or nature let those like him feel unlucky anymore; but then I decided to stop pondering when I cracked the eighth mirror in a week trying to comb my hair. More on that later, or maybe not I guess.

Whether you were (Ayi yum sarry saar, Ayi meant ij); whether you are a guy born in a sad family, or a girl born in a not-so-sad family, chances are, your bhagwan ji screwed you both. As to why or how, I think our much enlightening secondary education books and their equally smart keepers have taught us enough about that right?

As for the rest of us who don't fall in that range and are now old enough to be authorities, do we really have the freedom, or the choices it promises? What are you? No, don't tell me, let me guess. Engineer, doctor or accountant? HA!

Freedom it seems, is no better than that face cream ad which promises you that you too can look like Shahrukh Khan...!

-Sad Indian guy

If you're a naukri waala, you're enslaved to your future. If you're a bada aadmi, you're enslaved to your money.

If you're minding, and running your own bijjiness, you're chained to red tape. If you're a jan-sewak, or adhikari, you're stuck with corruption, and more red tape!

If you're a celeb, you're a slave of people's perception. If you're a common man, sigh, you got too many ties to list on this blog my friend!

Where, dare I ask you my pitifully intelligent and egregiously enlightened masters, are my heaven-forsaken, god-damned, lithane-ridden choices???

Where is my freedom?

The feel of it all!

2011-01-26T00:19:00.000+05:30

I've always been fascinated by emotions, the whole range of what I like to call human-connect (wrongly so, I believe!). Perhaps the fascination arises from the fact that I try to use logic to try and decipher the depths of something which lies in the realms of abstract-ism - in a manner of speech. "Don't mix the heart and the mind", they say (I disagree, but more on that later). And thus, the whole activity becomes rather an interesting study.

My logic leads me to believe that the development of emotions is as unromantic and prudent as the evolution of human beings from apes (I know some bio geeks who would want my head on a silver platter for calling evolution unromantic!), that is to say, they were not a creation of a conscious mind, nor the conception of an artist's ability; rather they were meant to be driving forces for us to act upon our basest needs- survival. Ever seen a dog wagging its tail when you offer it a treat? Nothing too romantic about that, is there?

And thus, our emotions came to be deciding markers for our instinctive actions. Jealousy, fear, hatred and the kind became the defensive, prudent actions that worked the mind and pushed it for survival. While all the white lights from the happiness kingdom became reward points which every man egged himself towards. How else is love not futile, if it didn't serve towards the progression and survival of the human race!

A very interesting topic that springs to mind on this thought is the movie "Equilibrium". For those who haven't seen it yet, the flick is a sci-fi story set in a post WW III era where tyranny- as depicted- is systematically controlled by the ruling group, with the help of an advancement in medicine which incapacitates human beings of any emotion and falls short of turning them into a bunch of humanoids. The script is an interesting study on how emotions can and do affect our thought processes and goes on to put an excellent debate on whether it is indeed in the rush of involuntary impulses that wars are fought and lives erased.

Another Hollywood film treading on the same tracks is "V for Vendetta" wherein tyranny is governed by fear, in fact a refined form of fear known as paranoia. It is but obvious from a certain grasp of logic and some information on history that tyrants have been crowned not by the discretion of a rational being, but the emotional rush of the nation. On a cheekier note, this fact can be extrapolated to the democratic scenario too where politicians roole the rust (or did I mis-spell something? :P )! The movie also talks of a subject often categorized as abstract, that of rationalized vengeance. Come to think of it, that's not too hard to decipher or understand!

A very good friend of mine once told me of the buildup of a human brain, of how a section of the brain which controls the involuntary impulses (emotions, that is) is covered on the top by a membrane which is in charge of the voluntary actions. He quoted the author of one of the relevant texts as saying, "it is a rider who rides a horse untamed.." (or something to that effect). Talk about God and his manners of poetic justice!

On another note on extrapolation of "emotional discretion", further discussion can easily prove the existence of religion, fanaticism, and even social taboos and the reason of their origin! No wonder the Greek schools of philosophy have always been at daggers with religion (reminds the chemist in me of interaction between water and acid!). How then religion today governs the era of science and technology can only be answered in the origin of our race (or more precisely, the evolution from apes).

Old habits, after all, die hard!

A prolonged shiver

2010-12-18T03:48:00.000+05:30

A grim fog covers the green, robbing it seemingly, of all its hue. It is only the silver span of dawn yet, and the sun remains at least a couple of hours away from breaking through the smokey pastures. The chill of the night seems to be as overpowering as the silence that encompasses it, and the tiny crackle of the gravel below me echoes into a roar, I being the only audience to my own shuffling footsteps. Yep, even the crickets are quiet this one time. The cold winter wind slowly whispers by, leaving the dew laden plants, and the hungry stray unfortunates shivering alike.

It's four in the morning on a jittery Wednesday,and yet it bears this distinct quality that pulls me out on the sandy path after an unproductive night stay in my congested rat-hole of a room. The uncertain eerie surroundings, darkened by the lack of a sun, dulled by the presence of a thick fog, and the muted scenario, collectively bring out the whole picture as that of the looming shadow of nature- pensive and serenely entrapped in its own pondering. It tends to bring an overwhelming sense of calm over my mind, as I walk through the vagueness, putting at rest, even if only for a moment, the ever chattering brain; and forces me to just look around in awe, fear and a nervous sense of delight.

The stray hungry dogs are apparently not the only company. At the far end of the "kuttchi sadak" is the indistinct figure of an adult male, crouching down and puffing on what appears to be a beedi that gleams red brighter than the hazy light. On getting closer, I find it is indeed a man, way old for his bearing (the guy was bearing sub-zero temperatures for crying out loud!), his head covered in what looked like a thin, dirty piece of rag. From what could be made out with the hint of sepia reflecting from his face, I could see a maze of wrinkles etched on a dark, tough and yet a skinny face. He saw me looking at him, and all I could see was the same grimness that was the mood of this unearthly time. His face, though old bore no signs of worldly wisdom one expects a septuagenarian to fashion on his/her aura. A simple man, who couldn't afford to look anything more. It was a friggin' freezing night, and here I was, bewitched by probably a mazdoor from the canteen construction site.

I guess people really don't feel comfortable being stared at, regardless of the sex. I have had an intrigue for the idea, I don't seem to understand why people find it so weird, but the ironical thing is neither do they! So, here again, as I walked past this guy, he seemed to shift a bit under my gaze, and perhaps just to help add a little sense to this eye contact drama, blurted out a question, "time ke ho raa bhaisaab?"

Bumped back from my thoughts, I answered back with "ghadi nahi hai," and then seeing it as an excuse to quench my curiosity, I stopped couple of steps away from him, and dug out a cigarette from my tracks. Lighting it up, I enquired, "Yahin DPT mein kaam karte ho?"

"Nahi."

"Contract worker ho?"

"Haan."

"Wo saamne waali building pe?", I pointed towards the concrete framework of our soon-to-be canteen.

"Haan."

My curiosity was now being replaced by irritation on his monosyllabic answers. A bit irked, a bit impatient, and slightly hungry, I found it hard to stay there in the cold away from Bagiyalji's steaming hot service of ginger tea and bun rolls. In an attempt to bring the conversation to a close, I said, "Kya itni thand mein bahar baithe ho? Andar jhopdi mein jaake so jao na!"

This once, just this once, I saw a flicker of an expression there. It was as if, for a jiffy, there was this storm of emotions on his face. A bit of enraged mockery here, a bit of sad defeat there. The calm bearing of the construction worker had, even if for a fraction, been disturbed by a storm of words gnawing on his chest to escape. After what seemed a while of prolonged stare which this time made me uncomfortable, he forced out a reply, albeit in the same indifferent voice, " Jhopdi hai babu, mahal nahi. Bas biwi bacchon ke lie hi jagah hai."

I loved the solitude of a wintry night, still do. Loved to stay awake and relish the activity of the senses. Until that wretched Wednesday however, I never realized what a deep stupor I had been trapped in, that not of the mind or its senses...but that of life and its blindness...

2010-09-19T13:31:00.000+05:30

Little prisms tinklin' fall
Makes me heart yearn them all
All the colours, the rainbows shine
Spread on my glasses drops, make you mine

Dreamer on the rocks~lyrics

2010-05-11T01:50:00.000+05:30

Lost in his world, in his time
In his singular chime
There's no place worth as mine
There's no bother

Grasp at the stars and the moon
At the sun, bendin' noon
It's not late, not too soon
There's no rhythm

There ain't nobody else, I ride
Alone
I am my kingdom, I'm
The throne
I'm my infinite walk, I'm
Dreamer on the rocks

Dreamer on the rocks...

Pull on the lines, on the dots
On the craters and the spots
Make 'em figure these plots
Disfigured

Play on my rhyme, on my lyre
There's no reason, no desire
Such as this, burns no fire
So cool...so cool so cool...

Break all the laws, all the awes
Not for me, not the farce
Them clones can go claw
Reality

There ain't no journey, I decide
The road
There ain't no rules that I can not
hold
The song that plays my mind
Lays my world
I'm the night's blackened chalk
Dreamer on the Rocks...

I dream my life and live my dream
I know my fantasy knows no realms
I know you won't understand my talks
Coz I'm dreamer on the rocks...
~~~

Sparrow!

2010-03-17T08:13:00.002+05:30

Look yonder, friend and see
There lay them novelties
Sneak behind the horizon, they yet
Call, through gentle strokes of the sea
They glimmer, into the mirages you so blindly decree
Crime? Nay, dreams be they, docile and fainer
Why dost thee heart cling to the mist?
Would thou slave for a future undealt and shrouded in injustice?
Or form them with your vision and fist?
Look beyond the fog, friend, and find
The mighty ocean tosses and leaps
Like a wild mustang unleashed
The froth sparkles white in the chromed shine
The future calls upon you, man of a fate owned...God divine!!

Ton-tana-ton

2010-02-19T01:16:00.000+05:30

A hundred up with this one innit?
How bout we start connecting dots you and I?
Aye, says me!
Fine then... here's a couple...time to draw a line...a real feasible deadline ;)

I won't say I love you
hmmm... what say next year..my birthday?

Very well...what about this:

January Chills
Aah! ummm...umm...how bout her next birthday? :)

You sure?
Dead sure!
Alright then...let's see whether you live upto ur word this tym around...
Don't worry...i will...
You'll have to!!

I shall

2010-02-14T19:09:00.000+05:30

There stays a reason within
A dimly lit fire, shivering
Beneath a blanket of indifferent ash
Lingers yet the thought of triumph
A single word, most powerful
Of essence, fuels
The hope, the fight
Caresses the traces within
And shakes them out of dejected slumber
The fight shall end, not just yet
Success shall be possessed
And ambition achieved
Long as the word stays within
Long as the lamp is lit
Zilch remains to fret
Long as I see my path
Long as I
Shall...

Amid the falling snow

2010-01-09T23:35:00.000+05:30

How I remember sleepless nights
when we would read by candlelight,
and on the windowpane outside
a new world made of snow;

a million feathers falling down,
a million stars that touch the ground,
so many secrets to be found
amid the falling snow.

Maybe I am falling down.
Tell me should I touch the ground?
Maybe I won't make a sound
in the darkness all around.

The silence of a winter's night
brings memories I hold inside;
remembering a blue moonlight
upon the fallen snow.

Maybe I am falling down.
Tell me should I touch the ground?
Maybe I won't make a sound
in the darkness all around.

I close my window to the night.
I leave the sky her tears of white.
And all is lit by candlelight
amid the falling snow.

And all is lit by candlelight
amid the falling snow.

-A greatness called Enya

and the rest meets silence!!

Feeling Haiku-ish

2009-12-28T02:04:00.000+05:30

The rain washes o'er
A certain wound burnS, reminds
My heart loves you...

The mist creeps
O'er tHe vision clouds, blurs
I'm blind within, without.

Call of the sprIng
The flower blooms with gaiety
It is time to grow.

The sun glares surprised
Atop the Lavish ice caps
The summer stares

Where am I?
Stranded in the Parched lands
I wonder, can't!

The skies cry
A burst of agony flares
It raIns again.

It rains again... :)

Figment

2009-12-25T07:57:00.001+05:30

"It was the most beautiful sunset ever..."

~~~

They had always come here. Chasing dusks as time oozed down from between the tufts of clouds scattered ever so boldly, ever so carelessly, like the strands of hair of a ballerina in motion- regardless of their place, and graceful for being so. The time slipped orange and blue and violet, all the while they laid there on the bare stone, watching the sun hang its neck down in humiliation, another battle lost.
Then, there'd be twilight.
No sun to scorn upon their shamelessness. No moon to flutter with delight. The stars would only be just waking, there was them, and them two alone, wrapped around in a blanket of a mysterious shimmer, as if the afterglow of a passionate romance revisiting.
No crows cawed their returns on this stone, no cuckoos came back to their nests here. Massive chunk of granite raised above the green rugs with such sharp elegance, as would hold her head, a descendant of Hera herself, the cliff was set deep into the wilderness, but for its loud presence, the wilderness was the curse of deafness itself. Even as the wind swayed gently over the shadowed leaves, which fluttered ever so tauntingly at the stoic chateau, the stone itself would seem to struggle in its motion frozen, as if magically, but would hold.
They would always lie down here,as the night slowly approached, beneath the vast grayness as it wombed all the lazy stars within, the black paling zilch against their enduring but belittled twinkles. Lying quiet on their backs, they would smoke the time away as they witnessed the sunshine sink slowly into the horizon and the black vaults close. Then, in their very own twilight, they would turn to face each other and yet steal their eyes only to lay them back over each others bodies, in admiration, in awe, in adrenalin or the sense of it. They would slowly raise their hands against their clothes, peeling them away, ever so frightfully, as if robed in that very guilt of wrongdoing which they came here to escape. As if coy of the nakedness of the honest sunshine that would cast their bodies in wholesome yellow. Now totally bared, they would get up and stand, a little wait as if to let the mysterious light mock the other with a glimpse of flesh here, and a shadow hiding some there, all drenched in its poison ivy. Then ever so slowly, as the moon above them dared to glow, they would glide next to each other and into a sweet, passionate embrace collapse on the hard rock, to make love for long as the wilderness loomed in the moonlight. Before the morning light would scout the grounds, they would be gone, leaving behind the disturbed sands, the only evidence of their play from the night before.

~~~

"It isn't over yet.."
She took her gaze away from the gloomy orb yonder to stare at him. Her eyes were burning with tears, and as she gazed into his, one of them sneaked down her right cheek, flaring it into a blush as it did so. Against her torment, he held a calm visage, one prepared for the perils of battle, as if.
Her face pleaded her statement yet again. To which he simply smiled and held out his hand. She took them both and pushed her face into them, trying to block away all the pretenses of normalcy. Normal?! They were facing a storm here and he thought it was all normal?
He understood her silent retorts, for as if on cue, he lifted her face and wiped away a tear with the thumb. "When I say everything will be okay, I say it not without a reason, love!"
"But...h-how? How can you be so sure??", she managed to stutter in between her watery gasps.
"Don't you believe me sweet?"
"I believed you once, and look! What of it!"
And the dam burst out. She started crying. She cried for how long, she didn't know. All that was worth knowing was that he was there and she was crying her heart out into his cupped hands while he held on tenderly.
"If you had to leave, why did you stay with me? Why did you come into my life?"
She was now screaming, her shivering voice the only echo knocking against the eerie silence of the wild. He just sat there still, but now, his face acquired a distant quality about itself, like a heavy outburst of torment and anguish somewhere far was reflecting in slight flinches and twitches. He still managed to smile. He had to.
Fatigued of her attempts at getting any answer, she just heaved for a few moments, all the while her scorn stuck over him. Then all of a sudden, a loud slap was delivered on his cheek. There was, however, no redemption for her still, and she burst into a fresh spell of tears.
Finally unable to bear the pain of seeing her like this, he stood up suddenly and moved towards the edge of the cliff. Sensing motion and catching him midway of the whirl, she tried to hold onto him but fell down on the ground instead. He just stood there, on the edge, motionless, his silhouette now as much a part of the stoicity as the cliff itself. She continued to pant, looking away.
"You know as well as I do what the answers to each one of those questions are."
"That doesn't change the fact that you're still not going to be here.", she managed, her sobbing quieted.
He turned back to look at her, an intense and fierce longing on her thin outline and that moment he knew how much he had loved her all this time. That moment, he wept.
She slowly stood up, moved towards him and caught him into a firm embrace, his tears skimming over her naked backline.
"We were meant to be together you know..."
"We will be together, love, we will be."
"When?"
He pulled away to look straight into her eyes. The two black pools still glistened with agony. He turned her towards the edge of the cliff so that she could face the moon. He pulled her back into his arms.
"How about now?"
She smiled into submission. "Now sounds good.."
He kissed her on the nape and buried his face into her shoulders. And they stood there so, their bare bodies misted by the longing askance of the sorrowed moon; his breathing on her neck silently swaying the hair fallen on her shoulders.
"Tell me sweet, do you love me or the idea of me?"
She stirred a little at the question, as if awoken from a trance. Eyes still closed, she smiled as she said,
"I would love to love even the mere idea of you dear, but for the fact that I already have you to give it all away.."
The night was beginning to pull away as the tomb began to show cracks at the horizon.
"But for my absence would you love the thought called me?"
Her smile lingered only moments after the question was called, only moments before a breeze washed down her locks. As if lifted from a spell, she jerked open her eyes, to find the love of his life nowhere. Gone. Struck in the realization, she smiled her pain away even as the first rays of dawn came crashing down upon her.
She took a few steps back, bent and kissed his gravestone a goodbye, and walked away towards life.
"But for the presence of the thought of you in my heart, my love, I wouldn't know how to face the sun again..."

~~~

"But for the presence of the thought of you in my heart, my love, I wouldn't know how to face myself again..."

Cinematography reincarnated!!

2009-12-18T23:32:00.006+05:30

So, come friday the 18th, and us goofs decide to spend three hours of quality time at the cineplex next door(literally!!) playing pool and watching a good flick since we got nothing more "productive" to do with it. Turns out that day, me'd be watching my second ever oven-fresh-friday-served movie (first one being Main Hun Na)...turns out there was lot more to add to the novelty of the experience than just premiere screening.... turns out this flick we were going to watch that day was "Avatar".

I don't know the meaning behind this word that James Cameron decided to christen his movie with, but if it's got anything to do with the hindi version of the term, it'd be suitably named so.

For it so happens, that this movie was a great great GREAT leap ahead in the realms of visual entertainment, a filmdom incarnation. I remember my delight when I first saw Final Fantasy: Advent Children. I can't imagine that being remotely close to the ecstasy I felt as I sat through three hours of this extravaganza called Avatar.

For it was a riot!! Of colours and of shapes and of whatnot!! And what a delightful splash it was! The moment the movie started, a huge platter of images one feels one could never hope to imagine just fall across the screen into one's pupils, dilating them to the hilt with such visuals, that one feels one is in a different world altogether! And that, my friends, was the 2-D experience we're talking about. Needless to say, 3-D == *bows*

And the fact that the movie came jam-packed with a whole new hi-fi universe, its own sets of identities, visualizations, creations and lot more... just keep the likes of me gasping with fascination. Forget a good script, the movie was a world unto itself with its own story(s) to tell! It was paradise rediscovered, reclaimed and checked in for the next seven lives!!

James Cameron, it seemed, had let his assistants'(designers, co-writers, co-directors, you know, the whole "Avatar" crew) minds run amok along with his own, as they delve into a whole new dimension of possibilities and opportunities for creative exhilaration. Such rich plots, well laid stories, structured origins, beautiful shapes, names, faces, languages and rites....there was a sense of a well laid universe which, it seemed, Cameron and crew had not invented, rather simply discovered.

I wasn't half as fascinated with any fantasy plot as this, since LOTR was first screened. What made it better was that this one was fueled by a 140 page script by Cameron, compared to the Tolkien bibliography required to construct LOTR.

However, that seemed to take it's toll on the movie among other things, as it is. Totally awesome, granted. Yet this one came with its own set of flaws, but most of them found a suitable way to be accepted without ruining the experience(and no I wasn't disheartened I found them... how much I scrutinize something tends to be directly proportional to how much that thing impresses me!). Some of which are as follows:

Spoiler alert: Now I haven't, and don't wish to reveal even the smallest bit of plot to any of you who haven't seen Avatar yet, but I must duly warn you, following discussion surely will ruin it for you..your call.

Flaw#1: Although Cameron himself admitted that the script was influenced by virtually every science fiction he'd read, it still was a bit demeaning for a fantasy enthusiast to actually witness that for real. The "bond" controlling animals, the rites of the "people" under the tree, and many more, seemed cut straight out from some works that I've read. Now that could have just been a co-incidence had it just been a few inspired ideas or copied names(seemingly). But we're talking whole processes here...

Flaw#2: The movie is delving into a whole new world, possibilities of which at first sight are infinite! But for some reason, it choses to speed through some events and incidents which a fantasy reader/viewer might find crucial or at least vital. Why we needed unobtainium, for example, was left unexplained altogether. Then there was how our protagonist comes over that giant birdie thing(fellow readers, my due apologies...just trying to abstain from spoiling the fun for those jerks who haven't seen the flick and are still skimming through this). a nice sequence there would have been awesome. And there were many more, as you'd all already know

Flaw#3: As would be a decent and properly rational counter-argument for the flaw#2, they had to skip a few things to condense the movie into three hour time frame. The third flaw, hence becomes the fact that they didn't split this movie into two (or even may be three) parts. I know, Cameron is planning on a sequel to this, but for all I know, the gaps left in this movie(theatrically) left me starving for more of it.

Flaw#4: Although the crew did let their imagination and creativity run havoc, there still seemed limitations to the heights to which they could fly with it. Many creatures seemed familiar, with only "accesorised" body parts to make them look more like anime characters than beasts dwelling on Pandora. Come to think of it, even certain names seemed as if they were lazed and bastardized distortions of something familiar. Oliphaunts, anyone? Not me!!

Flaw#5: Even as the "people" there had a characteristic, more-beastly-than-human human nature and ways of expressing, they did seem a bit lost on us. So did their rites, which did make them look kind of whacked, if you tend to look at it from a certain angle. Maybe wouldn't have been so had flaw#2 hadn't occured. (PS: Cameron, read Tolkein, or Paolini at least!!).

Flaw#6: Now this one is more of an opinion than a flaw I guess. I'd have loved to see more of the inter-clan differences the Princess so talks of. If only they'd made it into a trilogy D:

So there you are. Yes, I thought them all out while watching the movie, which mind you, was more like reading a book, making it all the more exciting. But even with those flaws around, it was a huge all-round success for me, personally. A great work of fiction, a superb piece of direction. and obviously, boy!! what animation!!!

There were these real movies wherein we saw what the honest scope of reality had to offer. Then there were animations, you made 'em sing like MJ, made 'em dunk like O'niel, made superheroes and coward comedians out of them alike, however they still were animations, immune to the concept of reality...and now, this! This, is a whole different world of cinema!!

It's this form of pure creation where if you want to move a tree or a mountain or the sky or change the time of day, you have complete control over the elements.

—James Cameron on virtual filmmaking

PS: Also, it's not everyday you think of doing what they actually did with "the avatars". Made me reopen an age old debate with self about existence, soul and the usual crap. Also made me laugh at all those morons who think of fitting humans in those big steel bots that'd do whatever you do sitting inside them (yes, even in this one!) but couldn't have enough brains to pull an entire human mind/soul/thing into a living organic machine, something like Avatar!!

Did I say it all out? o_O

Oops!! :-P

Oh! And yeah! The music's fun too ^__^

Romanticism Gothika-evanescence

2009-12-17T18:41:00.002+05:30

Dear, my love, haven't you wanted to be with me and,
Dear, my love, haven't you longed to be free;
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you when,
At sweet night, you are my own.
Take my hand.

[Chorus:]
We're leaving here tonight;
There's no need to tell anyone;
They'd only hold us down;
So by the morning's light,
We'll be halfway to anywhere;
Where love is more than just your name.

I have dreamt of a place for you and I,
No one knows who we are there;
All I want is to give my life only to you;
I've dreamt so long, I cannot dream anymore,
Let's run away, I'll take you there.

We're leaving here tonight;
There's no need to tell anyone;
They'd only hold us down;
So by the morning's light,
We'll be halfway to anywhere;
Where no one needs a reason.

Forget this life,
Come with me,
Don't look back, you're safe now;
Unlock your heart,
Drop your guard,
No one's left to stop you;
Forget this life,
Come with me,
Don't look back, you're safe now;
Unlock your heart,
Drop your guard,
No one's left to stop you now.

[Chorus:]
We're leaving here tonight;
There's no need to tell anyone;
They'd only hold us down;
So by the morning's light,
We'll be halfway to anywhere;
Where love is more than just your name.

Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

You know Vol II

2009-12-16T14:02:00.002+05:30

You know you're alone when...

you get 20 phone calls and 30 messages day
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
..........
............

...........

all from Reliance cellular services @_@

X_X

Feeling overwhelmed

2009-12-11T22:30:00.002+05:30

By all the knowledge

By all there is to know

By all the possibilities

Applications galore

By all that can be done

And my inability at the moment

By my love

And inability to accept

By so many things brimming my heart

I have in me heart, energy profound

But the well, unable to hold a sea

Is overwhelmed by the thought of capacity and lack thereof

Of God, purpose and existence

2009-12-10T17:26:00.005+05:30

"I denied your existence with my life's efforts, gone vain

For you keep showing up, time and again

Never the right, though. Not once for the just moment

And never too, a second late, while I screamed in dire torment

In times I laid still, were the only ones you'd pass by

Made me wonder, what could be your purpose? Scared were you? Why?

Never once did you let me near, never once lent me a shoulder

Never did you share your warmth, in deep Decembers, my heart did shiver

Why would you exist in my life? With what right?

What good be done of all your might?

If all you could do was to act helpless or worse,

Feign ignorance, I'd rather I was cursed

Banished from your kingdom of heaven

For I never seemed suited, never had you deem me

Son, that you so love to speak of, what would my crime be?!"

"None, that I know of my son

For it is you who form'd the impious word

I never sought to hurt you so, I always followed

Behind you, only you never heard

My footsteps, focused you were so in your own deeds

But to remember me once, you forgot

For I do love my blood more passionately than time runs through the grains of sand

My love fails to reach your heart if it is ablot

With thoughts that push me out of existence, you my son

Did shrug your own father out of your world, how am I to blame?

I tried to reach you in times of dire needs

But you ran too wild in your glory, untamed

I wished desperately to heal you of your pain

But you were too consumed by acerbity, poisoned

To let my blessings purge your soul, I tried

At every step, but in vain.

I, though wasn't hurt, for you were my son,

By your ingratitude, or when you cried out at my "injustice"

But, even as then, when you overlooked a brother worsened

In nature than your prime self, when you ignored to help,

I did fill my heart with melancholy, shed a tear apiece

For the man I created, you, who couldn't learn the purpose of his life

For the man I created who for your sake

Couldn't find his own moment's peace."

I'm not there

2009-10-09T02:06:00.006+05:30

It’s wrong to say I think. One should say I am thought. I is someone else. I am present at the birth of my thought. I watch and I listen. I draw a stroke of the bow; a symphony stirs in the depths or comes with a leap to the stage. It began with a wave of disgust and it ends as we can’t immediately seize its eternity. It ends with a riot of perfumes

-Arthur Rimbaud

~~~~~~~~

Something new, round the corner awaits

The girl who chases her shadow in circles

Has been incited again

Shall now bring out colours from the grays

Just let her come round the corner

We shall wait :)

I promised her I wouldn't enforce deadlines on her...I didn't say I wouldn't challenge her to enforce them herself ;)

We're waitin' Shinchan :D

We wished...still do...will do...

2009-10-01T13:56:00.005+05:30

"Hey dude! What would you wish for if a genie appears in front of you and grants you three wishes?"
"I'd wish for a laptop, a bicycle and three more wishes!!"

Still remember those days when we were kids and used to goof around all day in the schools, in the fields, in our homes...in our minds. Yeah, I know; another bout of nostalgia. But this time, it's much more than just that. You see, nostalgia is more analogous to the sensation that precursors the feeling of numbness in your legs...a sense of helpless fatigue reeling in slow motion and forcing lethargy further more. There's nothing one can do about things that flash in a nostalgic moment. Here, I can still wish!

Those were the days. We used to be oh so free! Chains of reality never seemed to be able to tie us down to the ground. Nothing humbled us, no one could stop us. An unarguable, unputdownable aggression would pulse through our minds. All this, in a rush of innocence, would flow out through our lips as merry words, bold words; bold, for the elders would laugh them down as ridiculous and "childish" while we, confused, would stare indignantly at those foolish grown ups who thought of themselves as all-knowing! Those were the days...when we used to wish!

As time passed, the ritual of wishing slowly faded from your memories till one day, your mind became "capable" of full discretion, knowing what is real and what isn't. You had grown up.

I don't know what went through your mind, or what stopped thoughts of wonder and awe from passing through. Maybe, reality simply imprisoned you. Maybe, you got scared at the prospect of society's analysis of you. Or maybe, you got plain confused and your mind wasn't capable of handling such large and preposterous ideas; it had shrunk down to the size of reality. Talk about growing up!

What I do know is that somewhere down the line, this world was robbed of a shimmering fountain of thoughts, a silent but perennial source of imagination. The channel of infinite possibilities was blocked by a film of practicality. Practicality?? Look all around you, lad! The fire that gives you light was magic when it was sparked for the first time. The water that runs through those taps, who thought that massive blocks of frozen sand would one day tame the flow of gigantic rivers and squeeze them through miserly pipes? Could that have sounded remotely practical to you back when there were no dams?

Practicality my friend, is the measure of the limit to which an individual was able to extend his imagination to corporeal form.

Open your eyes Peter! Nay, close them. Close them to this reality of yours. Close them that you don't fear hurling yourself into a wall when running wild with your mind. Close them for the noise of "sense" is only too loud for you to realize the music that underlies all creativity.

Close them if that protects you from the betrayals of reality.

Know more than just the discretion of your brain. What, afterall, is the job of brain if not to simply decide whether a certain act meets the conditions prescribed- prescribed by what heart could achieve. Your heart Peter! THAT is the king, the governor of YOU. Brain, sadly, is just another clerk, and that is one truth you need to realize.

Close your eyes Peter and open your wings. Let your soul run havoc in the lands of unimagined sparks of brilliance. Swim in the depths of thoughts that flow without the resistance or hesitation of "rightness", but with an unstoppable vigour that still courses through your veins. For this once my lad, forget that you live in a world curbed by a tangle of doctrines and discover a new haven for yourself. Realize that which is lacking from you...

Dream Peter, dream! And soar through a world of your wishes and dreams, a world called childhood!

~~~~

I wish they had the silver and golden colours in their formatting. The actuall "sparkling" ones!

\m/

2009-09-26T01:51:00.004+05:30

Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further everyday
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
Things not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost this can't be real
Emptiness is filling me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now he's gone
No one but me can save myself, but it's too late
Now I can think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.
It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Mama take this badge from me

I can't use it anymore

It's getting dark too dark to see

Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

Mama put my guns in the ground

I can't shoot them anymore

That cold black cloud is comin' down

Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

A farewell

2009-09-22T03:20:00.005+05:30

"It's not that I haven't prayed before

It's just that you never had the time to listen..."

The lights went blurring past Rizal. As he slowly moved his head from one side to the other, he saw through his bleary eyes, a hoard of white coats hurriedly ferrying him somewhere. In between bouts of delirium, he realised that he was in a hospital, and that a whole crew of meds was frantically trying to rescue him from the jaws of death.

"Nurse. Quickly get a fresh dose of IV for the patient. And another bottle of B+. We need fresh blood!"

"Pulse dropping to 85"

"Nurse!!"

"Hold on son...."

Within his mind, Rizal struggled to keep a grasp over reality. Everything around him seemed to be blurring into a hazy glob of noises and foggy sights. Distant echoes of people all around him seemed to make frequent futile attempts at something he couldn't decipher. His pulse was starting to drop. Slowly, very slowly, his eyes and ears were shutting down, a curtain of vagueness dropped over his sense as his body started to shut itself from the outside. It was so silent within that he could hear the bass of his own heartbeat, the one that was now dropping. Slowly, very slowly.

He could feel his lips going cold, but it wasn't fear that numbed him so. Rizal closed his eyes and smiled.

They were trying to rescue him from his own self.

"Let them try,

Let them see,

Let them know,

You, not I, did this to me..."

He closed his eyes and said the name for one last time...

"Riya!"

~*~*~*~*~

(contd. in later issue)

Somebody's me! :O

2009-09-18T02:14:00.002+05:30

I seldom find people skimming thorugh my blogs...

so when one bumps over a site which is "imitating" the blog, it comes more as a pleasant surprise...the guy's atleast reading enough to know what to copy :P

Apparently not so pleasant for Monk...

So one day me checks my gmail account after a looooooonnnnnng time (net's dead at hostel) and discovers a frantic message from monk to check a certain site out. Turns out there's a guy who takes the best of both worlds (mine n monk's) and make a nice potpourri for his own blog. Even better, the guy doesn't even change the titles of blog posts copied, nor labels...just falls short o mentioning author's name (monk grumbles :P). So we decide to act against him...

and we leave him scraps on orkut :D

Coz, here's the final stunner...the guy turns out to be in my friend list. Apparently, the "kid" is a member of MiBC (Monk's community on orkut) n our mutual friend and has also chatted with me once. The following conversations haven't exactly been sweet exchanges, if you know what i mean...another asshole *sigh*

Though I do miss the attention!! :P

~~~

Also, the net just sprang back in! YAEY! :D

~~~

You know vol. I

2009-09-18T02:08:00.001+05:30

You know you're a geek....

...when most of the times you converse through the gmail chats....

...with AARDVARK!! :O

Sheesh! Life's a bitch!! BOW WOW!!

Feelin' Blue

2009-07-20T23:47:00.002+05:30

You are blue

You are a philosophical and often inspired person. You are the master of ideas.

You are open to many points of view. You believe that it's important to communicate and not judge.

You have a worldly perspective, and you're always looking to broaden it.

You are a true people person, but you also value your solitude and personal space.

Time for introspection?

2009-07-20T01:19:00.001+05:30

It is time yes...

though not retrospection...

suddenly realised how much am actually lackin within..

i mean, it was always there, just needed a catalyst somewhere.

thnx FB :)

Alright...back to work!

The reprise of Hank's oath taking

2009-07-18T06:16:00.004+05:30

I read Atlas shrugged again (yes, I have read it twice...in as many months) and this time it really did strike me, that in pure sense of idealism, the dialogue wherein John Galt repeats his own oath, with such passion and intensity to Dagny Taggart, has to be the one of the most romantic scenes in the whole novel. It then set me wondering how of the many strong and powerfull characters, how Ayn Rand was able to cleverly chalk out these two as the protagonist and his interest in the readers' minds. Among many small things, it was this fact too, that only these two have been shown to recite the oath- the oath of such intensity and passion, the total sum of all their intentions and resulting efforts- as Ms. Rand would like to call it. This thought set me ticking and I came up with an idea... how bout write a reprise of Hank's oath. Poetic justice? Well, I am not to judge. But then I couldn;t think of anything else that would so easily sketch out his gritty and effortlessly herculean stature than a short poetry..one that doesn't set out to describe his being, its nature or purpose, rather be precisely what "Hankness" would suggest, be his thought and sound. Hank, on your behalf, this be thy oath...

I shall not let fury nor fire Burn my flesh nor corrupt my veins in its ire I shall not let the miseries of the world before Poison the ambitions that my future holds I shall not let the glory of my deeds Be shredded at the whim of someone's needs

I shall live for self and self alone

I shall not be cheated in the name of justice

Nor be exploited on behalf of service

I shall not drink anything save the dregs of my own sweat

And I promise to my desires, my heart, my mind and my pride

none else to feed but my own deeds.

I wished to do a piece on Francisco too, but he is too noble and beautiful a character to be trapped in an amateur's foolish attempt at blogging!!

Noise of the Nazgul

2009-07-13T03:31:00.004+05:30

The skies turn murky, turbulent

A silent lull drops o'er the lands

A dark eerie hum of vacuum

Engulfing fear in its vast sepulture

Simmers about, the tension heightens

Pulsating

With every beat-scared, with every wound-scarred

As the distant darkspot arrives gradually

Bobbing in the foul air, panning in every second

When all of a sudden stands one before

The nightmare of one's life

Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

The giant span of the wings whip ruthlessly

As the giant creature floats before one, eyes levelled

A deep growl emnating from the strong jaws

A renegade broke loose in its eyes-madness!

Even as one stands, chilled, it screams

Chaos! Noise! Destruction!

A thousand screeching sounds errupt at once

Curses of a million souls doomed to its fate

Now torture one- a white seering pain

Engulfs one- even as a hundred veins burst within

Everything vanishes, blacks out, goes down his knees

One surrenders as the blood boils in those veins

As the Nazgul bleat, as the Dark pain reigns

PS: watching the movie at three in the morn, while you struggle with your internship report, this was bound to happen! ;)

2009-07-09T14:00:00.001+05:30

LMAO

2009-07-09T12:18:00.005+05:30

Well, hafta say, humour is in the air..and here are some witty sites I have been surfing lately to tickle my funny bone:

xkcd.com : Collegian geek humour. It couldn't get any better.
bornsilly.com : Humour Haven
uncyclopedia.com : Show me a better spoof than this!
metacafe.com : Well not exactly humourous texts, but the vids are kick-ass entertainment
bash.com : Only for quake players. The convos are recorded and archived. Some of the hardcore quakers quack the wrong note about themselves and you end up rolling into a laughing ball. Courtsey St. Monk.

Ah well! Seems I have been having my regular dose of laughter. FYI, the thought of initiating a Babbar weekly is crossing my mind more often than thoughts of AOE. Hmm...better watch out folks :)

Random

2009-07-08T16:08:00.002+05:30

Week ago, was trying to spot my weaknesses. Two popped up faster than the ads of Viagra pills on spamming websites- sleep and procrastination. The first, weakness or not was already declared an enemy some time back. Well yeah it is a weakness. You can make me slave for hours and days, but once am down on my bed, not even a hurricane can shake me out of sleep. Damn irritating when you get up from a nap to realize you've flunked the lecture in the morning...again!! Am planning on popping down a few retalins but then I remember how that screwed up with certain "sane" people. Not that I ain't damaged already, but hey! you cannot meddle with the nature's play!!
As for the latter, I think I might just be able to get done with it. Got a copy of a pdf on how to stop this habit, and just came across a nice to-do software(boy! some coincidence!!). The lazy me- get ready to have your ass kicked! XD
The net's not working well though, not well enough. Aah well, we'll do it some other day!
Damn!! D:

~~~
Alryty!! Who was callin out ma name!!? :D B-)
>_>
<_<
>_>
No one? :O
Damn! Am hallucinating again D:
Better stop those pills :-S
Yes thank you Mr. President..pleasure meeting you :)

aah well...it ends here then.

2009-07-04T12:56:00.000+05:30

Saga of the (G)loved(?) one

2009-06-28T12:59:00.004+05:30

Aug 29, 1958 | Born in Gary, Indiana, he was the 2nd youngest of the six brothers. He also had three sisters.

1926 | He, 5, begins his musical career. Father, blues guitarist, forms a group around his sons. He joins in as a lead vocalist.

1969 | 'I Want You Back' debuts, his single for Motown Records become fastest selling record in the company's history.

Sept 1971 | The band debuts on animated TV series on ABC, runs till September 1973.

July 1972 | 1st single of solo career 'got to be There' released. Reaches top 5 of Billboard charts.

Aug 1972 | His first no. 1 on the US pop charts titled 'Be'. First of his 13 no. 1's

Nov 1982 | Thriller, largest selling album of all time. Approx 28 million copies sold in US alone and 100 million worldwide.

Jan 1984 | Burns his hair while filming Pepsi commercial that features his song.

Feb 1984 | Earns record-breaking 12 grammy nominations and wins eight.

1985 | Co-writes 'We are the world' with Lionel Richie. Wins three grammys.

Aug 1987 | Released Bad

1988 | Moves to 2600-acre ranch in Neverland

Mar 1991 | Enters $1 billion contract with Sony, most lucrative offer ever to a recording artist

Nov 1991 | Dangerous debuts at no. 1

Sept 1993 | Accused of sexual abuse by a 13-year old boy.

Aug 1994 | Lisa Marie Presley confirms marriage to him

Sept 1994 | Reaches out-of-court settlement with the accuser.

Jan 1995 | HIstory is released

1996 | Performed in Mumbai in an event organized by Shiv Sena's Bal Thakeray

Nov 1996 | Marries Debbie Rowe, his former nurse. Presley filed for divorce in January

Feb 1997 | Son Prince is born

April 1998 | Daughter Paris is born

Oct 1999 | Rowe and him divorce

Mar 2001 | He is inducted into the Hall of Fame

Oct 2001 | Invincible released. His first critical and commercial flop.

Jan 2002 | Prince II is born. Mom if the child unknown

Nov 2003 | Booked on child molestation charges

Jan 2005 | Acquitted on all charges

Mar 2009 | 'This is It' tour, a series of concerts in London

announced. Referred to as 'final curtain call'

Jun 2009 | King of Pop dies at 50 at ULCA medical centre in LA

June 28, 2009 | The world mourns the death of one of the most "news making" figures in the world of music.

June 28, 2009 | Papers waste as many as 4 pages on his life till before its end, a tribute, though questionably contemptuos in its approach.

June 28, 2009 | Minibiographies published on net and on paper. Portrayals and glorifications not inasmuch to effect as the vices scattered all over the parchments, a blunt mockery, a simple business oppurtunity.

June 28, 2009 | Torrent websites feature the A-Z collection of his music, the rarest one dug as if straight out of his grave and miraculously seeded and peered heavily.

June 28, 2009 | Media successfully carries through a one of a kind balancing act, as it lends space to both the obituaries and objections with equal vehemence.

June 28, 2009 | The singer, once accused of downgrading to the worst possible act of "immorality" absorbs the whole of editorial and ethics page, songs and statements appearing as the handfull serving of proverbial platter in the Sunday supplement.

June 28, 2009 | Our own TOI discovers a not-so-subtle taste in black humour with jokes dissing the singer for all the controversies he'd been entangled in. Made blacker by a contrasting appearance to much whiter looking articles on his sublime personality.

June 28, 2009 | The world witnesses a dilemma regarding the nature of a phenonmenon known as "Michael Jackson", in the sense of not being able to pass a judgement or valuation to his character, nor being able to decide whether to take the judgement on its own responsibilty. The world, for once seems to be testing, and rather appreciating its maleability with factors emerging from itself and yet so entangled in the issues related to thinking and judgements that all the world seems to be doing is stretching and shrinking, like a rubber sheet, or a rather viscous liquid- thick with fickleness of their nature- while the baton of thought passes around, jumping over the sheet, over layers of farce laid

around by the media (pun intended? not really once you realize which implication of media makes more sense and in fact strengthens the threads pulling the society around like a chained circus monkey. The world takes the middle way and coins him the "KING OF POP"...

He was a king for the people alright. For those voices that rang "Now the ol' king is dead, long live the king!"

past|June 28, 2009 | future | -->

<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------>

Goodbye

2009-06-17T22:17:00.002+05:30

Oft tread one does on a path tangled with misery
One so dense that ne'er could let but one trudge alone
Of these times does one bid i reckon, a life brimmed with love
A cup filled with the cheers of motive life- that one sips away his miseries with
For these times, I have now come to thank thee
To offer my gratitude in its honest, purest pleasure
For now such time as thus has clung onto my shoulders-heaving
Pulling me away from the physical existence of such joy as was thine
But strain not thy faces or hearts my friend for I do not walk alone
Memories of this hallowed space I do carry with me-dregs of mirth to heal when I'm prone
Be assured I shall bide well, as I shall be hoping for you
Feel not of a comrade fallen for my breath shall linger-proof of my passive existence
Fare well thee, this be my wish-for I wish it won't be my last
Fare well thee, I shall be back...for now, let me slip to the past...

Goodbye MiBC...will miss you...a LOT!!

Ever wondered?

2009-06-06T23:06:00.000+05:30

Ever wondered what was the ultimate state of passion?

It's cannibalism.

Ever conceived the visage of love at its most intense action?

It's jealousy.

Ever thought what lies at the zenith of ecstasy?

It's pain.

Ever realised the best level of understanding you can have with your loved ones?

It's called arguments.

Ever seen something speak with more understanding than any speech heard before?

Just look into the eyes of your enemy.

Ever searched for the most distrusting person in your life?

Just look in the eyes of the one wo loves you the most.

Ever thought what lies on the edge of a fall of failure?

It's the rise of success.

Ever pondered what could be the best compliment that you can give to a perfect piece of creation?

Destruction.

Ever imagined the heights of disrespect you can show to a creator?

It's flattery.

Ever found the secret of the most inspiring teamwork?

It lies in competetion.

Ever found da the most profound beauty created in this world?

It lies in the peace of silence...

~~~The climax of The fountainhead~~~

Peace be with ye as it may.

But passion never leave your space,I pray...

Phrack!!!

2009-06-06T01:40:00.008+05:30

So, I was going across the profiles of one of my friends on Orkut when I found something I had read long before and had forgotten about it. The moment I laid my eyes on the oft repeated punchline in the "essay", I realized what I was looking at...it was the 1998 copy of the Hacker's Manifesto..the one of its kind, both for its beauty of language and for its agenda...and yes! Also held a special place in my heart because it was the greatest essay of rebellion and motivation since Bonaparte's speech for me. And I realized I had to share it with you guys. So, here it is:

The Hacker's Manifesto

(The Conscience of A Hacker)

Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested After Bank Tampering"... Damn kids. They're all alike. But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of a Hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?

I am a Hacker, enter my world... Mine is a world that begins with School... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me... Damn underachiever. They're all alike. I'm in Junior High or High School. I've listened to Teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work, I did it in my head..." Damn kid, probably copied it. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed up. Not because it doesn't like me...Or feels threatened by me... Or thinks I'm a smart ass... Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike. And then it happened... A door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addicts veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it, this is where I belong..." I know everyone here, even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all.

Damn kid, tying up the phone line again. They're all alike... You bet your ass we're all alike...

We've been spoon-fed baby food at School when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now, the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us Criminals. We seek after knowledge, and you call us Criminals.

We exist without skin colour, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us Criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat and lie to us, and try and make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the Criminals.

Yes I am a Criminal, my crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a Hacker, this is my Manifesto. You may stop the individual, but you can't stop us all. After all, we're all alike.

The Mentor

FYI, "The Mentor" aka Loyd Blankenship was a renowned hacker who ganged up with the various pop hacker groups of the 90's and wrote this essay after his arrest in 1998. This essay has gained world-wide popularity among hacking community, mostly due to its circulation in the hacking e-zine Phrack(now you know where the title came from, eh?) and the fact that it featured as a dialogued scene in the movie "Hackers".Amusingly, this is what Mr. Mentor does nowadays!
*Chuckles*

*Ogles*

*Screen flashes "Your account has been hacked!"*

*Falls*

Romanticism Gothika

2009-06-03T20:26:00.001+05:30

How do I see the stormy skies (you see)

I am blinded by your love

How do I know this torment called pain

For I am numbed by your touch

These moments, of glory's askance

Do not seem to hold me no more

Alone in the crowd, everyone vanishes

When you walk in through that door

There's no use, I don't want no cure

~~euphoria~~

Your love(love), your intoxicating poison

Has tortured me to the hilt till I

Ceased to know and feel it, why!

Burn me in this lust to the core

To the point I cannot take it no more

~~ ~~

In the passion of pain, let me soar

Let me soar...

Seven strikes...

2009-05-30T00:55:00.005+05:30

So Mayank tries to get wise-ass with me and within moments of being tagged himself, zaps one off to me too, all gleeful at presumably being successful in launching a subtle attack at my private life. Little does he know though, much to his despair, that yours truly has been tried and tested so many times that he is absolutely impervious to such attacks (and his conscience indifferent to any guilt surges about lying to a friend's somewhat innocent queries). Anyhoo, all said and done, let's get done with it and metaphorically brush this aside as yet another of those feeble blows against one's ego that never manage to as much as scratch the paint off the walls...

~~~

Rules:

Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
Let them know they have been tagged.

!~~~!

The game: The only aspect of the tag that I love...thanks for the awezzumm number 7 dude :D. Alright, as per the tag, I am supposed to jot down seven absolutely random (implying that they are mutually exclusive) thoughts or characteristics about me. Hmmm...let's see how far I get before someone screams LIAR!!

HeHe

!~~~!

Ze Seven Zingers Zat Say Zilch

I love the number seven. For that matter, I also love the numbers one and nine.
The production capacity of my mouth is 3-5 words/second. THAT of my mind is 40-50 sentences/second! Guess I am an introvert by relative appreciation after all.
I believe in equality. I am partial to every colour possibly conceived by the human eye.
I am a "rebel" as per the views of a close friend.
I am an "arse" as per the views of my boastfully brit innervoice.
I don't hate Hindi. I just hate writing in Hindi, for it feels like man slaughter. Through words, letters, all.
You don't know me => you = me.

There then. Seven stupid sayings of a senseless sicko. Time to spread the flu. I choose to infect

Shaivya Sr. : Coz I always love to read her random thoughts on her blog.
Shaivya Jr. : Coz if randomness was a subject, she'd be a scholar on it.
KP: He deserves one
Rajeev: Coz he's talented enough to pull some sort of exxagerated chep in this one too. I trust u bro!
Nick: Let's see how far your thoughts can fly :)
DC: It's been long since saw/read anything from you
Aneesh: Interesting to see what he's got brewing in his mind ;)

Alright, my job is done. Let's see what comes next...

Jaago re...!

2009-05-25T23:31:00.004+05:30

I'm sitting at my desk, midnight creeping closer, and my mind is under full fledged attack from the thinker's lounge-as I prefer to call it. Sparks of ideas, billions and zillions of them, zap across my brain in a blur, and my mind, lured into all the hyperactivism, splashes into this pool of infinite e-m pulses, grabbing at a wave, leaving another...a tarzan leaping on branches across the jungle of incredible possibility! One runs in a jiffy, but for the spectating brain, it slows down to snail speed, the power of desire of the mind, all bent upon that certain piece of thought to pull it to grinding halt as it struggles to escape, scanning the idea thoroughly, dissecting every bit of information constructed, every componenet of thought constituting it, bringing itself on terms with the realms of a possible conception, just about when another idea comes rushing around and the focus is diverted. The concept, escaped.

Soon, the escape becomes routine, and the brain finds itself caught in the midst of a huge network of crossroads and flyovers and subways and what not, rush-hour that! Every thought flashes past in a mocking pulse, from every side, every angle, as the subconscience helplessly twists and writhes to catch the glimpse of one certain idea, one certain theme which it could weave into a corporeal melody, one spec of dust which it could snowball with concrete substance called reality!

It is at this hour that I find myself sleepless. Nay, sleepless would be a somewhat derogatory term here. I do seem to enjoy this frustration a bit, kind of like a sweet pain (sadism? could be, but I'd prefer something closer to therapeutic effort). It is frustrating, but it does make me painfully aware of the realm of possibilities and opportunities that open up to me at the rarest glimpse of hard work. No, I find myself excited, enthused, the zeal doing much better than a cup full of undiluted caffeine. There's so much to do, so much to achieve. It seems, the moment sleep vanishes from my eyes, a whole new ambition loaded me awakens, as if, from a deep vampiric slumber. And then the regret...why does this realisation have to strike at night only?? Why can't my ambitions burn the daylight oil instead?

Whatever be the case, in these moments, I just despise sleep. It seems to be a flaw in God's design of a perfect man in all his strength retained (yes, I am reading Ayn Rand, but that's not the point). It seems as if an unstoppable wind has suddenly hit a mountain and diffused, as if a rock standing up for all his might, suddenly crumbles. A man, at the pinnacle of his energetic euphoria, falling prey to a weak craving for an escape to dreamworld, all the while his reality is running clockworks?? Nay! I despise such escape, such breakdown as is slumber! And yet I know how loathingly weak and drunk with sleep I would be found in the morning, struggling to gain sense of reality, trying to wipe away the fog of dizzyness from my mind, the inertia of my ambitious heart wasted into dreams and nothing more...

At such times, I appraise insomniacs like I never could...

Gone with the wind...

2009-05-22T11:32:00.003+05:30

Another year whizzes past you even before you get out of your bed and realize, "hunh!". Well, I guess that's how college life generally rolls. gathering no moss, no distinctive characteristics of the time gone by. Or for that matter, that's how life in general rolls. I mean, it's not everyday that you stop running, sit down in retrospection for a moment or two, and think about where you want to take your life to, and where exactly it is taking you right now. The momentum of work and duties and responsibilities and work just carries you along with it in an undying motion, and you slug along...

Yeah, college life isn't as morose as THAT. That's for the balding adults to worry about. But then, any college going kid(kid?!! who am i kidding?!!), oh ohk, any college going guy/gal, with even an ounce of intelligence and a pinch of ambition in his/her brains, would realise how heavily unproductive we are being to the society. Oh fine, fuck society, think about what a big waste of investment you are becoming for your family and self! And realizing that even with such outrageous independence, we don't know how life is rushing past us, that even with so much time to spare, we do zilch about either planning or reflection, that we don't have the excuse unlike the grey-heads to hide beneath, realizing all this and more, is painful to say the least.

Unproductive mah ass! At least unproductivity points to zero yield. We, my friends, on the other hand, are tipping the needle to the negative. We're wasting bulk of nation's subsidized educational resources, our parent's hard earned money and our own talents doing nothing but goofing around. This behaviour, it's not called undeserving, it's called parasitic.

I don't mind enjoying life as such. Hell this would be the last time that we ever have fun. After college, it's job, marriage, kids, money and blasted heads from balding bosses, home or away. But even as we do that, we can do a bit more to do something worth our education right? And I don't mean just your pointers, you damned ghissus! What I meant was actually doing something objective, something corporeal. Isn't the prevailing attitude of not doing the reason why India has such a small rate of annual patents applied for from a billion plus pop(and I think in respect to the engineering cult here, considering my exposure in the field and lack outside it)?

I just wish that we try for once to wake up and move before time does. Naah! I hope I wake up and move before time does. If one thing I've learnt lately is true, then it'd be to help myself to full potential before I help others realize theirs. I guess next summers, I'd be back with something more substantial than a "Hunh!".

~~~

"Well well! Why the sudden outburst of truth agendum?"

"I dunno. Maybe it's Ayn Rand. Maybe something else."

"How about the intellectually charging nightstay you had with him the other night"

"Yeah could be, he's leaving now, I'd better bid him farewell"

```

"Well?"

"Yeah met him. Said adios."

"What's with the serious face then?"

"Went to the gate after that. he had just taken a taxi to the station. Dholu was coming backwith Vanty after seeing him off..."

"And??"

"Dholu had tears in his eyes...He left indeed...forever perhaps..."

Maddi's gone! :O

Anaamik

2009-04-29T19:24:00.008+05:30

~~~

Banjar zameen bichhi hai koson

Aansun bahake to lekin, chashma bhara nahi jaata

Sapne to hazaar panapte fir bhi is dil mein, par

Kya karein,

Gunjaaish ki guthliyon ko hawaa mein to nahi boya jaata...

~~~

Gumraah is dil ko kaun samjhaye

Ki patthar pe chahe kare wo laakh chot

Lahu to uska hi behna hai

Maanjhi chala jo apni naav bahane

Chahe jitna sehla le wo paani ko

Saath to use lehron ke hi hona hai

~~~

Udti to hai patang tabhi

Jab deti wo takkar hawaa ke abhimaan ko

Jao bata do us patang ko naa kare fir bhi guroor

Kyunki chahe laakh sahe wo jhonko ko

Chahe ude wo jitni unchai tak

Wo rehti tab bhi hai ik kathputli kaagaz ki

Dor jiski sambhaale koi zameen ka kaidi hai...

~~~

2009-04-05T03:42:00.001+05:30

Cold as the northern winds

in December mornings,

Cold is the cry that rings

from this far distand shore.

Winter has come too late

too close beside me.

How can I chase away

all these fears deep inside?

I'll wait the signs to come.

I'll find a way

I will wait the time to come.

I'll find a way home.

My light shall be the moon

and my path - the ocean.

My guide the morning star

as I sail home to you.

I'll wait the signs to come.

I'll find a way.

I will wait the time to come.

I'll find a way home.

Who then can warm my soul?

Who can quell my passion?

Out of these dreams a boat

I will sail home to you.

-Enya

A bucketfull of bull!!

2009-04-04T19:47:00.003+05:30

Naah

Don't be too happy KP. I ain't gonna settle for only that much for what you did to me...You deserve some goznard treatment...real good one that...muahahaha

Right, so thanks to mr. KP, I'm now supposed to reveal what is left of my private details, and worse, in as few words as can be managed(why you ruthless, evil nutjob! why!!)

Rules being the same as the last time...

Alryt, let's dance...

~~~LAST~~~

Beverage: Coke
Phone Call: Lucky
IM: KP (naah, don't worry folks, am pretty civil on chats :))
Song listened: Liz Phair-Li'll Digger
Time you cried: Don't remember
Sms: Lucky

~~~Have you ever~~~

Dated someone twice: Wow! you couldn't have thought of asking something else would you!
Been cheated on: I wish!! I mean, that would atleast mean I had a relationship! (oh & in case we're talking otherwise, hmmm yeah :( )
Kissed someone and regretted it: Why are you doing this to me :((
Lost someone special: hmmm
Been depressed: Yeah

~~~Three favourite colours~~~

Sorry, wrong question. Too less a parameter to list all my favourites

~~~This Month Have you~~~

Made a new friend: No
Laughed untill you cried: I guess that happens so much that i never keep a tab of it
Met someone who changed your life: I guess i did...not sure
Found who your true friends were: I already know that
Found out someone who was talking about you: No :( but if you do, plzzz do tell me :D
Kissed anyone on your friends list: Sigh

~~~How many~~~

People on your friends list do you know in real life: Hmmm...I'd say almost all o dem
Kids do you wanna have: Don't know
Pets you have: none

~~~|~~~

Do you wanna change your name: which one?? :O
What did you get on your last birthday: A real sweet time with some close friends watching Man-u win and overtake liverpool in a sports bar
What were you doing at midnight last night: Reading
Name something you cannot wait for: To get all I dream of
Last time you saw your father: Holi this year
What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Myself :D
What are you listening to right now: Metallica-Fade to Black
Have you talked to a person named Tom: Yeah. Tara's dad
Most visited webpage: Orkut, followed by Gmail and Rockhousemethod websyt and blog
What's your real name: Apoorv
Nicknames: Andy, Sim, Ballu, Fizz, Appy, Fosty, Drinko, something lucky n shaivi call me*grrr*, and many many more
Status: :'( sob sob
Zodiac sign: I guess capricorn
Male or female: Male
Elementary: KDAV, Jamnagar
High School: Central Academy, though it was anything but school!
University: IIT-Roorkee
Hair colour: Black-ish
Long or short: Keeps changing. Currently...long (Plzz don't kill me deeds :-S)
Are you a health freak: Errr...yeah at times
Height: 5'11"
Do you have a crush on someone: Hmm..yeah
What do you like about yourself: Am pretty goofy
What don't you like about yourself: Am pretty goofy
Righty or lefty: Righty for most of the work

~~~Firsts~~~

Surgery: Apendicitis. Sept 19th, 2001
Piercing: None
Best friend(s): Md n nick.
Award: Guess that'd be in 4th grade or somewhere around
Sport(s) you joined: Cricket, basky and footy
Pet: None
Vacation: ?? WTH??
Concert: I-rock
Crush: Shakti

~~~What are you~~~

Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Ditto
I'm about to: Study for the exams tomorrow! :P
Listening to: Yeah it was metallica, by the time this came again, I switched over to LOTR ost
Waiting for: this to get over

~~~Your future~~~

Want kids: Don't know...but yes i guess
Want to get married: Ditto
Careers in mind: whatever i do, it's gotta be with a core industry

~~~Which is better with the opposite/same sex~~~

Lips or eyes: Eyes
Hugs or kisses: Both
Romantic or spontenous: Ditto
Nice stomach or nice arms: Arms
Sensitive or loud: Not loud, not too sensitive either
Hook-up or relationship: How the hell would i know! X-(
Trouble maker or hesitant: Trouble maker
Lefty or righty: Would it matter? :P
Shorter or taller: Don't know
Older or younger: Again...

~~~Have you ever~~~

Lost glasses/ contacts: Average new-specs-hunt-per-annum for me is about 10!
Ran away from home: Hmm..Kinda
Kissed a stranger: I wish!
Drank pepsi: What do you mean? Is Tiwari selling fake stuff??
Broken someone's heart: I guess so
Been arrested: No *sigh*
Turned someone down: Do you think am nuts! o_O
Liked a guy/girl friend: Yeah

~~~Do you believe in~~~

Yourself: Yes
Miracles: Yes. But don't rely on them
Love at first sight: Want to
Heaven: Don't you believe in creatures walking on two legs?
Santa Claus: Yes!! :D
Kiss on first date: No idea :(
Angels: see 4

~~~Answer Truthfully~~~

(WTF!! Abhi tak kya kar raha tha??? @~@)

Happy with your life: Not totally
Believe in god: Live-in relationship
Posting it as 100 truths on your blog: Are you blind? Or you just skip the title everytime??

So there!! All done! A bit of going around the questions, dodging some straight on, going diplo in few others. Hell! Am getting better at this stuff! :D B-)

Right...now for passing the tag around...hmmm...

I choose: Shaivya, Shadow, Mrudula,Nikhil, anurag(tht'd make a good debut brother :P) and lucky(I know...but if you don't do this...am nevr gonna talk 2 u again :-|)

There you go guys...start hunting your prey...i'm full *smack!! finger lickin gooooood :D*

If only...

2009-04-02T04:29:00.004+05:30

If I could tell you...

I'd let you know how unworthy

the moon's sheen is to the gloomy silver,

being a stolen ware that it is

I'd make you agnize how timidly the sun really flares

The galantry lost on its rays

that fail to take the scars away off the futile satellite

I'd have you see that the ivy sky above

a vast spread of the deep hue it bares

is but only a lacklustre blanket of an ageing velvet

Its stars I'd tell you

twinkle not in merriment nor glitter of delight

the pointless dots rather gasp for life, burning in misery

Ever since they'd been touched

by a beauty more profound than the flair of Aphrodite

a gleam of pure charisma whilst it flowed down from the heavens

If I could tell you

I'd talk of how dull the melody of the ancient river sounds

there's no joy in it's voice, only a struggle 'gainst mounds and boulders

there's elan left none, just an aimless wandering along what earth allows its flow

I'd show you the might of the earth, fake which

a swift rush or a torrent of water can easily gnaw

while the trees clench at its bosom ruthlessly and feed

I'd prove that the dancing tree in that ancient yard

is nothing more than a crippled elder, withering in the causes of Gaia

Parched leaves and dead twigs scattered, it stoops to the will of a gentle blow

as if bending,

To salute a real aesthetic beauty

that walks the land of mortals

whose charm seems to humble the causes themselves

If I could tell you

I'd speak of how blind my tongue

has been, how deaf the eyes

to all that bears along in this world

I'd complain of being numbed in my mind

my discretion seemingly flawed, and yet so real

my senses dumb, spellbound ever since they saw grace that be so eloquent

I'd fall to my knees and confess

of not deserving such bliss as would I then

of knowing such an angelical creature's audience to my thoughts

of knowing how deeply partial I've grown to its presence that all else matters zilch

I'd say a lot and yet I'd not say it all

for no words would be enough to give a fair proclaimation

for no poetic sense could feel such charm that embraces your sight

If I could tell you and let my heart soar

If only...

PS: Yes...the lucknow trance...i remembered the face again ;)

Premonition

2009-03-23T20:17:00.003+05:30

The embers still glow red, deep

Veneath the ashes turned cold

Fury and vengence of from years ago

Doth the black tower of Sauron hold

The eye that cast the world in darkness

Once, yet doth simmer, a crimson red

Bewarned, sons of Illuv'tar, not long from now

The ring shall set afire again, gates of Mordor with hate

Where did your virtue fail?

2009-03-10T16:17:00.002+05:30

Yesterday, I saw the death of a million dreams

I saw, the death of a thousand hopes

I saw the death of a hundred ideals

I saw a hand full of hearts shatter into countless pieces

A hand full reflecting infinite memories

infinite hopes apiece..

Where did those hearts EVER fail your virtue?

I saw the massive strength of an idealist fade in the tide of tears

I saw so much pain in that small room that would make a boulder of granite crumble

There were many faces and many hearts, each however weakened by the unfair strike of-

-LUCK YOU SAY??

I saw many faces

Each worn down by sorrow and defeat

Defeat against a shapeless devil

Defeat against uncertainity

Defeat against what even they don't know...

I saw their eyes drained of every bit of hope

Welling with regret, that they didn't have enough time

That HE didn't get enough time, BUT WOULD YOU EVEN LISTEN!?

Did those faces ever let your virtue fail?

I saw

I did not dream, I saw

And I wished it was but a dream, for as scared as I was

It would have still been unreal

I saw

I saw my hopes failing

I saw my friends knowing not what to do

knowing not what was happening, dazed

Unable to comprehend

I saw myself bursting with agony

Bursting with outrage

I saw myself wanting to vent it all out and yet not finding anyone to put the blame on

I tried to answer questions that rose mightier than any tumult that shook it before

But instead found myself grasping at sprites in air

I saw myself in the mirror and found my eyes filled with distaste for self

YOU!! IT WAS YOU WHO SAID ONE GETS WHAT HE DESERVES, ISN'T IT??

I saw myself running away from me, as yet I wanted to nail the guilty

I felt guilty

Guilty for harbouring such hopes as would never shine upon this family ever again

I of all believed in your laws of karma

I believed that you are just and right, wherever you are

And yet you belied my faith

Denied him honour

Why did your virtue fail?

Yesterday, I saw many things

Yet I couldn't see you, couldn't feel you

When I saw my dead friend

I believed that people make their own choices

Till death. Whatever happened, eh?

I believed that there was no such thing as luck

A subtle way of contradiction you chose, isn't it??

I believed in the laws of karma

How hideous a criminal was he to have deserved this

wasn't he?

Pardon me if I sound sarcastic, mocking

But your "ways" have made a mockery of my beliefs

Shaken the foundations of my faith

I see now the very aspect of living a sarcastic state

Whence you are not in control of your own life-

-or how you end it-

Why would I even say I LIVE it??

A puppet on the whimsical strings of your wish

Pardon me if I sound irrational

But I do not see how rational this end was

How dignified a fight

Pardon me for being so rash

But you see, JD wasn't so rough either

Why he wasn't even drunk or driving

And now he's riding his way up the staircase to heavens

IF you do allow him that courtesy

Pardon me if MY virtue fails to lead my conscience

But of course, it is blinded by the million tears his brother has shed

I try to see the Bigger picture

I try to assume that something heinous he did to deserve this

How bad did he have to get to deserve this... I Know!!

Maybe topping the class

Or perhaps

Showing his father hopes that one day he'll make him proud

I guess it was the fights he had with his brother

Or perhaps the love he shared with his family

Pardon me I failed to see all that, the bigger picture..

But if you couldn't pardon him,

Should I even be asking for one???

Never was a close friend JD, and yet your death has shattered everyone to the core, including me. I hate to see your family in such state as is now...but don't you worry, we'll do what we can to help them. You rest in peace, bro...know that you will be missed.

Take Away

2009-03-04T19:46:00.004+05:30

Take away my happiness

My right to smile

Take away my smile

Take away these colours and hues

Blind me

Take away these eyes

That you may take away visions of glory

And grace

And that you may bid me into an abyss of sorrow

Into a void of indifference

Puncture my heart

Let all that love rush out

That the dried well be parched forever

Stinging with hatred and loathing groans

Not for mercy, for but revenge

-Nay! There shalt be no mercy

All be so forth dealt with pain indifferent and just-

Pluck out that flower o'spring that grows within

Take away my childish eccentricities

Rip innocence off my faith

Take away my faith, my belief

And dress me instead

In a hide beneath which runs

The blood of a madman

Which seethes with cruel passion

Whence madness takes form of an ugly beast-a devil's reject

Leave me with no sense, no logic, no vision or sound

Leave me unloved, unloving, uncared for and uncaring

Leave me burning in the deep spit of cruel passions

-Passions of mad and greedy destruction

Of rage and fear, of bloodspills and tears

Take away my soul, take away my "self"

For I deserve it and you don't

For yet you want it and i don't

For yet you proclaim that you are God

And i don't...

I don't.

Lucky number Seven...

2009-02-21T07:01:00.014+05:30

Am not really a numerology guy...or luck for that matter

Hey the reason i write Apoorv and not Apurv is coz my parents found it apt to do so...must be coz they were foresighted enough to know what a big O their kid is gonna be :P

plus Apurv seems just too ridicoolous(and doesn't change the name number at all!) :D

So that vindicates my signature...

But then, I love maths, probability and character analysis...numero deals in all this, so doesn't really matter if am actually falling for it lately...

And then, there's another reason for it...












 Meri zindagi mein aaye ho, aur aise aaye ho tum
Jo ghul gaya hai saanson mein, voh geet laaye ho tum,
tum hi kaho,
tum hi kaho
Dil jo aise gaaye
koi kyoon na gungunaaye
Meri zindagi mein aaye ho, aur aise aaye ho tum
Jo ghul gaya hai saanson mein,
voh geet laaye ho tum
Tumko paake,
hanske gaake
Nikhri hai, sanwri hai zindagi
Ujle subahein, rangeen shaamein
Aa gayi ek nayi dilkashi
Ho, maan bhi lo,
maan bhi lo 
Raat jo hai kehti yeh fiza jo samjhaaye 
Meri zindagi mein
Meri zindagi mein aaye ho, aur aise aaye ho tum 
Jo ghul gaya hai saanson mein, 
voh geet laaye ho tum 
Tumse pehle dekhe kab the 
Maine yeh khwaabon ke kaarvaan 
Tum jo aaye, 
tum ho laaye vAnkahi, ansuni daastaan 
Ho, suno zara, 
suno zara 
Mera dil bhi haaye voh kahaani dohraaye 
Meri zindagi mein 
Meri zindagi mein aaye ho, aur aise aaye ho tum
Jo ghul gaya hai saanson mein, voh geet laaye ho tum 
Ho, tum hi kaho, tum hi kaho 
Dil jo aise gaaye koi kyoon na gungunaaye...



Kaun hai wo jo aayein hain meri zindagi mein aise
Phool jo baagon mein unki bahar se lagte hain ruswa...?

Just point at the brightest stars you see 
and you'll see....



:)





Scribbled at 7 in the morning on the 21st day of the month...
think am really falling for it now...

hmmmm....

2009-02-19T03:50:00.002+05:30

A frog in a well
Sees only the world
In which it'd dwell
Wish it'd a day jump over the brim
Whence it'd leap o'er da land
Or in the river swim
Wish it'd see the bigger circle o'lyf n wonder
Wish it'd luk o'er the horizen yonder
Wish i could show it the concentricities of the world
Wish the truth to it I could tell

To know the truth, wish it'd be compelled...

~~~

2009-02-15T03:30:00.000+05:30

Today is gonna be the day

That they're gonna throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do

About you now

Backbeat the word was on the street

That the fire in your heart is out

I'm sure you've heard it all before

But you never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do

About you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would

Like to say to you

I don't know how

Because maybe

You're gonna be the one who saves me

And after all

You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day

But they'll never throw it back to you

By now you should've somehow

Realized what you're not to do

I don't believe that anybody

Feels the way I do

About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding

And all the lights that light the way are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you

I don't know how

-Oasis

A pool of sheer alt punk delight!!

TOW big guns & Na-palms...

2009-01-24T10:43:00.005+05:30

So, the campus is all set on fire, what with two major events happening in the same sem... infact, the fire's burning right down our asses. Two events!! Fuck!! There ain't no time left!!

But the good thing is that Rave is being organized! Finally!! Somehow, i always felt our campus needs a cult-fest of its own. Yeah, we have thomso, agreed, but somehow, it just doesn't seem "ours", not to me. Perhaps, it's the rebel in me, perhaps it's something else. Who knows...but then who cares!

The campus has witnessed Rave in past, but that was once, an year before our bunch joined the leagues. And most of the ones who did organize the event last time have already passed out. That means, even though all ours seniors have been spectators to the fest last time, it's a new experience altogether organizing it. All the more reason that I'm loving it!

The first meeting I attended, I was give the job of organizing the online treasure hunt. Just the kinda work I like, I can actually mess with people's brains and get away with it...AWESUMM!

Hehe. Anyways, the work began the moment it was given. You see, the major work in such an event is racking your minds for questions that even Mr. Google can't help the folks with... then comes the web designing aspect and stuff... I'd rather not get into all that.

Anyways, all that stuff has gotten me so exhausted mentally that I often spend times when my brain is totally blank! And that is saying something. Coz if know anything about my bakar stamina, it ain't nowhere near to my mentationary convos! I can't focus myself on anything except the hunt. In fact there are periods when I spend moments, actually minutes before the monitor trying to think about the event and even that yields nothing. Not to mention how many bouts of insomnia i have suffered ever since...why today is one of them too!!

The day I realised this, it was decided that getting a team working on it would be better. Hence, the four most creative, not to mention mentally active beings on the campus were recruited and the work began in full swing again...

Not for long. Soon the exhaustion caught on with the rest of the crew and resulted in the last three days before yesterday being declared as break-time and last day drawing a blank. Now, it so happened that the facchas in my team were already ready with another recreational activity to kill time in case we draw a blank that day...as we eventually did (how thoughtful of em!). So, it's me, lama, samba and moni sitting/playing in the tt hall when suddenly lama pulls my hand saying "lemme try what I learnt today on you"

Some lab rat, me. Gees. *Flattered* :D

"What are you looking for anyways", though I had already guessed he wasn't trying anything gay, but i still let him confirm my doubts,

"I'm studying your fate through your palm"

Ah! the noble art of palm-istri...

"Dude, I ain't exactly a fan,"

"Still, lemme give it a try,"

"Ah, well...shoot"

Couple of minutes, some murmurs, hand shuffles and deciphering later,

"Have you had any health problems earlier in life?"

"Well, couple of weeks after i was born, I was diagnosed with jaundice. Then at the age of two, I got my first bout of pneumonia, and since then till the age of five, my life is scattered with incidences of asthama attacks and head injuries..."

"It says so here on the top horizontal line of your right hand, see the criss-crosses"

"You sure you not looking at the pen marks"

"see for yourself"

Strike one

"Yeah well, what else?"

"It says here, you won't have any major health problems in life, which btw is pretty long"

Yeah right!!

"It says you're the devotional, passionate lover kinda person"

Watch it junie!!

"Dude this sounds stupid, chal tt khelte hain"

"Na-na wait a sec. It also says you're gonna find your true love at a young age"

"Come again!"

"See, right here, the lines to the side of your right palm, just next to the li'll finger, dense and close to your heart line."

"I'm listening."

"You're gonna have two bery strong relationships..."

What the....!

"...one might be on its way soon, maybe before you turn 21..."

"Dude, you trynna pull some prank on me? Am 20 already!!"

"It says so right here"

My Right hand right in my face. Grrr...I hate those innocent faces he makes

"Nice fiction dude...but this doesn't seem possible that I find 'true' luv in less than a year when the las 3-4 yrs were a dismal waste?!"

"Hey, you're the one who believes that love is an instantenous, instinctive thing that doesn't follow any known logic, ain't you?"

My philo in my face...strike two...ouch!!

"Continue..."

"Well, it says you might settle abroad..."

Hope he ain't talking about jails!

"...have and live the rest of your life with your true love..."

sigh...

"...have a long healthy life as I already told, square palm says you'd be (and have been) quite lucky in life..."

aah, the luck crap again...dude, i don't believe in luck!!!

"...and your spouse will die before you"

Hunh!!

Klpd

"Look dude, it was an interesting observation, but one that ain't supported by any scientific logic"

"There's evidence..."

"and all of that evidence building the logic makes the formula all the more empirical. It was a good convo though dude. Chal cya laters.."

And I walk off bearing an expression of indifference...

LIAR!!! You should have had a peek at your heart doing those multiple sommersaults!!

Hush! Anyways, i actually do believe this thing is not a logically based science, and couldn't be enjoyed in a more appropriate way than when treating fiction...

To hell with you and your fiction!! I got an awesumm lyf ahead o me :D

But that spouse news was bad D:

Sigh... :(

Sigh...

2009-01-15T01:00:00.004+05:30

La Soñadora
Yo; el otoño Yo; el vespero He sido un eco Seré una ola Seré la luna He sido todo, soy yo Yo; el verano Yo; el ébano Soy la soñadora ~~~~Translation~~~~

La Soñadora

Yo; el otoño
Yo; el vespero
He sido un eco

Seré una ola
Seré la luna
He sido todo, soy yo

Yo; el verano
Yo; el ébano
Soy la soñadora

~~~~Translation~~~~

The Dreamer I; the autumn I; the evening star I have been an echo I shall be a wave I shall be the moon I have been everything, I am myself I; the summer I; the ebony I am the dreamer

-Enya (translations by Stefano Toria. Corrections from Luis R. Emiro and Daniel Quinlan.)

Black voyage

2009-01-11T04:33:00.000+05:30

Google has always been awesome. But this time was too good a search engine. I mean i still haven't been able to figure how to search for inspiring topics yet, but once inspired, it surely does great job searching for motivation!! Was sitting vella as usual when some random bout of madness struck my mind and i found myself punching in ship in storm and dis came up...

Minutes later, so did this...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sail away my heart
To the darkest realms
That exist on this earth
Away from the shallow dreams

All the promises of mirth

Fall into the void emotionless

Let not a breath of joy

Not a whisper of hope

Be the grand fortress of troy

But don't bid the horse in by its rope

For gaiety shall bless you

As does a tide caress the shore

The wave once left shant be back

Only a stab of pain, awefull, gore

Let not again bid self to this sway

Sail away my heart, sail away...

~~~~~~~~~

I wonder when i get to sail on a ship... soon as i get rich, am gonna buy a yacht tht's for sure!!

Now, if i could just figure how to get rich...hmmm...

damn!!

Got Tagged

2009-01-03T01:43:00.003+05:30

I thought the only tag i'll ever earn wud be a tag heur...n wo bhi made in delhi!! lol...

But wtf! Here goes nothing...

Alryt, me was tagged by Shaivya. The tag's apparently a questionaire on your love life(in my case, the lack of it!!). The tag follows two simple rules...

=>Once tagged, u gotta answer the questions on your blog, replacing the ones you didn't like with ones you do.

Dunno whether it would work for me...for once the questionare would resemble a sports+sci-fi+scientific+mathematical+logical+philosophical+watever-that-can-remotely-sound-boring-to-you quiz!!

=>You then have to tag six other people who haven't fallen prey to this guy who tagged you. Hmmm...Vengence...sounds fun!! Oh and you also have to mention( along with link) the name of the person who tagged you.

Alright then, let's dance!!

1.If your lover betrayed you what would your reaction be?

Hmmm...I think I'm gonna have to let her go. Either because I just wasn't good enough for her, or the fact that I would be disgusted by her hiding the truth from me, both ways the cosequences would be the same. But our relations thereafter won't be...

2.What’s it that you see in an ideal partner?

I think intelligence would be most important, and not only intelligence, but mental compatibilty. Someone who not necessarily agrees with me on my thoughts and ideas, but has a certain way of dealing with things, coming about with ideas that fascinates me. Beauty comes next. By the time i'm through with these two, I would have fallen so deep for her that there won't be any coming up for any more verifications !

3.What, according to you, is the perfect date?

Me comes to her place to pick her up. We walk down a stranded road with the air scattered with drizzle. We reach a solitary beach where she finds a table for two beneath a makeshift shelter of thatch waiting for us. The food-prepared by yours truly(don't worry, i'll learn)- is served with some red wine to the lady while she's entranced by the "havana" track by Kenny G. A long walk on the beach while the froth kisses our legs and the tired couple decides to sit under the thatch. The sunset spectacle is brightened by a brief shower which refreshes and maddens us so that we decide to dance once more. And then, a slightly tired, slightly cold ridden, slightly wet, but very very beautiful looking Ms. "yet to be found", wearing my jacket and with her head laid on my shoulders, is escorted back to her place.

And the whole time...we talk, talk, talk...and talk a bit more...except the two times where the mouth is engaged.

Yes...two!! lol

4.What is more fluffy: holding hands while walking on the beach, or sitting under a tree and kissing each other's ears?

Too---silly---to not laugh at----must---not laugh---must---not---laugh change----question---QUICK!!

4.How would you propose to your love?

Will take her to one o dem ideal dates, but this time no monsoon. We shall dance as usual, but tonight, no bakar...no gossip...Me staring in her eyes, she in mine... peeche music mein Yanni full on. And then as we hold hands to start the dance, I'll quietly pass on the ring in her hand with my hand in which i was holding it. And when she sees what she was feeling in her hands, and looks back at me, surprised, I'll kneel down in front of her, hands open. But I won't speak. The song will change to a romantic hindi instrumental, probably "dil ne tumko chun lia hai" or "pyaar diwaana hota hai", but otherwise one of her choice which i already know. That day, as i kneel to my love, my eyes and the song shall propose for me.

5.Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Could be possible. But worthless. Because knowing me, my proposal would probably go down the trash as some april prank...sigh..

6.Which is more blessed: loving someone or being loved by someone?

Loving someone....unconditionally

7.How long do you intend to wait for someone you love?

If I'm in love with someone, not crush wise, real love, i think i've already decided on whom I want to share my heart with. What am i gonna do if not wait for her, go on for another one?!!

8.If the person you secretly like is attached, what will you do?

Read Q.7

9.What do you think are the foundation stones of a good relationship?

Love, understanding, more love, acceptance, still more love and honesty...oh and some more love!!

Cliched? Well can't help it, they're only things that work!

10.What according to you is the most beautiful thing about relationships or marriage?

I've never been in any, so wouldn't know from the experience, but the fact that there is someone apart from your own blood, who loves you as much, if not more...someone who'll have you in her heart, while she resides in yours...someone who gives you an oppurtunity to share everything you have, your love, your heart, your life...that is the most beautiful thing..and more.

11.Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Living in a metro(mumbai hopefully), earning cool money, enjoying my job and my life, coz i won't be the type who grumbles about not getting enough time off job to pursue other interests, would have probably(and hopefully) had atleast one relationship. Oh, and would also hang out wid ma band, which would join once in a while at our places to jam some gud songs.

12. What’s your fear?

I think that would have to be losing my loved ones. That is one feeling i survive with, I don't want to stop loving someone i'm very close to.

13.What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

Had been following her blog for long time, but became friends with her only recently, so dunno much bout her. Though she's kinda cool if i can define the word. Coz, she's a really gifted artist and writer, and also loves playing games(aoe rox :D) She also has some crazy grey cells which further earns her my respect :). Let's see what more i can learn bout her.

14.Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

Dunno. haven't been in a relationship yet!

15.If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who will you pick?

Physically none. mentally both. But won't let ANYONE, specially them know bout it. *Hope it never happens!!*

16.Would you give all in a relationship?

Would the sun rise from the east in 2012? lol.. duh!!

17.Would you forgive and forget someone no matter how horrible a thing he has done?

Yups. You might call me a bit meek for that but i don't give a damn. I just can't afford to burden my heart with thoughts of vengence for ever. And i know my accomplishing it wouldn't atone the sinners sins nor quench my thirst. Instead, i would beg all the forces of this universe to make the person suffer my fate(but the vengeful curse too comes out only if the person robs me of my family)...

18.Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?

Dunno yet.

But i do hope i get to know ASAP :D

19.Your all time favourite song. Only ONE. And why?

Presently, and i hope it stays, it's Suno Na from chalte chalte. I think that would be because everytime i thought bout my first crush, this song was heard...with a painfully sweet exultation.

Alryt, time to kill sum!! *Goznard guffaw*

I tag Nick, Kunal, Manku, Rajeev, Aneesh and Mrudula.

Quoting my Hunter : "Die Ye Mortals!!!!!"

~~~~

2008-11-12T00:00:00.000+05:30

...

miss them when don't get to talk to them for a week or so

wince when they so much as scream at you for some stupid act of yours

feel the pain of your mistakes reflecting in their dissappointment

hate it...really hate it lyk hell if you know they're doing something stupid and can do nothing to stop or change it

love it when something good happens to them, and it ain't even related to you!!

love to play the goof, coz it makes them smile

will do almost anything for them...no...will do anything for them

And you thought i was talking bout babies, kids/siblings?? Well....

HeHeHe :P

And I've never even met them kids yet...

now tht sounds kiddish, doesn't it? Hell, this whole post does!!

well, that's cool too...i don't mind being a sibling as long as they're my guardians

Happy to have you guys...

forever and more...

On the deathbed

2008-11-11T23:55:00.000+05:30

I saw you tonight

Bundled in clean whites

Your pale visage

Gleaming bright

Serene and calm

As Ever and yet

Pained, embalmed

In glistening sweat

Your charm unhurt

Ignorant

Of perils that then lingered

Amidst the chants-

Bedlam in the backdrop-

Your bearing sure

Unjustifiably propped

'Gainst the anguish you endured

And yet you smiled

Cushioning the hurt

In those lips, luscious, mild

A mocking mirth

Knowing well

The wretched becoming

Truth, I knelt

Beside you, falling

With the weight of gloom

That sank my heart

That knowledge of doom

Our union marr'd

Before it had begun

And yet as I stared

Into your eyes, they sung

With yearning and resignation paired

A most melodious call

To me to let you go

A farewell echoed in the hall

And gentleness flowed

Down a feverish cheek

A guilt-ridden trickle

Of a sudden you looked meek

Your pulse fickle

A soft grip summoned

The end drew nigh

I kissed your forehead

As you let out your last sigh

And when I left your face

It lay in peace

Your eyes still open, lifeless

Ever watchfull, ceased

Blinking, as did your breath

I lid your eyes, one last time

Slept peacefully as you parted

Another trickle joined your cheek

Goodbye my betrothed.

2008-10-20T18:33:00.003+05:30

The woods are lovely, dark and deep

But I have a promise to keep

And miles to go before I sleep

And miles to go before I sleep...

-Robert Frost

The power of passion

2008-10-02T17:37:00.001+05:30

Guilty as charged

2008-09-30T13:51:00.002+05:30

I'm the worst fuck up my parents cud've evr conceived...the purest aura of dejection and accidental malice...i cnt be a gud hero..bt i cnt evn be da worst villain...a breathing pulp of screwed up incidences...

I'm guilty as charged...as always.

Philo Bakar

2008-09-23T16:30:00.005+05:30

Yet another mind blabber that just happens to spring into my mind soon after some normally inconsequential incident or conversation.

Caution: Readers are advised to stay away from the page in case they find this kind of explicit matter beyond their reckoned capacity of handling intellectual crap. The author bears no responsibility for the various nervous and behaviourial dysfunctioning and animalistic traits and manners of cursing their luck to have stumbled over this post borne by the reader henceforth.

Conversation with Siva sir

.....thing to do with the euro - dollar exchange rate

3:15 PM :)

me: yeah..i figured it cudnt come so easy 4m u guys :P

btw...i h8 sayin dis..bt congrats... :(

man u lost 2 liv, finally

3:16 PM Siva: ya but the fuckers drew with stoke city this week

beat manu but cudn beat stoke

me: muahahahaha

serves u ryt :P

Siva: my loyalty has been gradually shifting

from liverpool

3:17 PM to.....

Arsenal

me: :O

wtf!!!!!

get back you!!!

ur bettr at liv thn wid em arses X-(

hummmph

3:18 PM Siva: fuck off ! arsenal play such delightful football !

pleasure to watch

me: yeah ryt..n screw up at the hilt, pleasure den, eh?

Siva: dusn matter screwing up

i dont care who wins the league

3:19 PM as long as they produce such wonderful football

me: wat :O

luk at manu!! dey're fada exhibition stuff too!!!r bettr at

*far bettr at da exhibition stuff too!!

Siva: no way !

3:20 PM me: hunh!!

Siva: manu's football is effective, but its short of 'delightful'

me: ever seen sum nani or ronaldo weavin deir magic at one end while precision maniacs scholes n giigs drive deir way thru another?

hw mor delightful cn it get 4m dis!!

Siva: nani??

3:21 PM hehehe, he'sa joker

me: wat? u dunno nani?

Siva: donno why ferguson brought in nani

me: yeah ryt..well he dint make a laughin stock outta himself lyk sum arse products hu're now called cunts n coles

3:22 PM fergie always knows talent da moment giehe sees it...unlyk wen

wengie

Siva: wenger nurtures talent, he believes in youth

3:23 PM only then u get to see such wonderful football

me: yeah ryt...tht shows in da youth team arse has...evn liv cn boast for summin bettr

Siva: fergie plays ole, giggs

me: half..no ..mor thn hlf the team's foreign..

y do dey evn play epl?

Siva: so wat, there's no restriction on tht

3:24 PM me: fergie knows chemistry..dere's giggs wid ronaldo...yung giggs wid ol gunner scholsker

deir's always dis magical chemistry..n yet da team binds so well..

3:25 PM Siva: better cemistry in arsenal dude

me: noooooo waaaaayyyy!!

Siva: u jus see them play

those one touch deft passing

me: dint u see em crumblin so easily da las tym dey hd a fa cup face off wid man u

Siva: quick , pacy football

attack all the time

3:26 PM thts wat is delighting

me: thts da beauty..arse cn do one touch n dey cn do one touch...period...man u is an alround team..u require one touch, u gt em... u wan thrus..u gt em too...

dun temme ronaldo-rooney-tevez combo aint pacy?

y it's too gud 4 da arses 2 match speed wid too..courtsey fa match las season

3:27 PM Siva: rooney is overrated

thts wht i think

me: :O

Siva: cristiano is brilliant, agreed

me: :O:O:O

Siva: nd tevez works hard, thts all i can say abt him

3:28 PM me: well u mustnt 4get wat a big match turner he cud be..

Siva: ya 1 out of a zillion times

me: well becks ws over rated too, they alays said...bt he produced results 4 da team n thts wat mattrs

3:29 PM y evn gerrard is at tyms said 2 be overrated by critics..hw dya ans tht

Siva: now ur supporting beckham !! unbelievable !!

me: :O:O:O

wats wrng wid beck?

Siva: gerrard is not overrated, if u hav been trackin his football, his contribution to liv'pool team

3:30 PM he drives liverpool

me: i kno he isnt...bt does tht stop people 4m callin him so?

Siva: thts the problem with them, they need some more players lik him

me: al i kno is over rated or not, dese are/wer /will be da guys who produce results

3:31 PM Siva: i said i think rooney is overrated, i donno wat ppl say

me: yeah..thts wat am sayin..tht even if i agree wid u, it wont chnge da fct tht he's da pivotal point of da team..n tht his team is da best at da mo..

3:32 PM in wateva mannr u want it to be

Siva: dude, didier drogba produces results, but he dus lot of shitty theatre on the pitch too, so producing results is not wat i want

me: dey play soccer as it shud be played...n yet stretch out 2 do mor thn tht

in tht mannr, i do agree wid u..rooney does come up wid cheap shit tym n again..

Siva: "as it shd be played " according to u, coz thts wat u like to see

3:33 PM me: bt i think ur forgettin tht vierra nistelrooy fiasco..tht ws cheap 4m an arse too ryt

Siva: effective football

me: wel hw wud u wan it "2 be [played"

Siva: i lik more carefree attacking, pacy flowing football tht u see at arsenal

nd germany under klinsmann

3:34 PM impose ur game on the opponents

me: well u saw da epl 2nd las match las season, manu won..tht ws pacy..carefree...aggressive..n stuff

Siva: dont change it according to the way the opponents play

me: i dun get u..

if u lyk arse style, u'd hv luvd spain mor thn germs dis tym

3:35 PM Siva: i said germs under klinsmann, in the world cup

nd ya spain were wonderful too

me: ohk

gt it..

exactly..

bt temme wat ws da diff bw their attitude n dat of porto...?

3:36 PM both hd fast, pacy, talent sparklin shows

bt in da end, spain produced results

n it ws mor manu style, u kno y?

Siva: i din see much of porto to comment on tht

me: i'l brief u on it if u wan?

Siva: nnooooooooo

dude i hav my gre on 30th sep

hehe

3:37 PM me: lolzzzz

3:38 PM accha, lets js say dey playd js as arg. did in deir golden era, as arse do...bt deir game revolvd ard ronaldo al da tym...dey wer individualistic..bt grouped 2 perform 4 1 individual...spain ws...individual..as a team...dey dun pay heed 2 star or performer...bt team spain..thts da difference..

same as tht btw man n arse..

in fct mor similar to tht btw liv n arse

3:39 PM Siva: ronaldo in porto ?

3:40 PM ok got it

me: prto..sigh...i meant porto as in shrt 4 portugal in dis euro

Siva: ya thts right, dependent on 1 individual

3:41 PM me: dun u see da same pattrn in arse..1st henry...

Siva: nd spain had wonderful players all over the pitch

me: wen he went, dey stumbled...

den reyes...

Siva: did they stumble last season ?

me: n nw...van persie

sure did man!!

Siva: reyes never settled in the team

me: hu ws toppin da league b4 manu snatchd it 4m dem?

3:42 PM Siva: ya, i dont care abt it if they lost, they still continued to play the same way!

me: thts ryt, reyes nevr did...bein such a gud playr too...cn u say bout ne 1 playr in manu..benchwarmer or nt..heck cn u say tht 4 ne liv playr?

3:43 PM Siva: dude don bring livpool in, they hav been inconsistent all through

me: bt thts nt imposition..if it ws imposition..den u force ur opponent 2 accept da game...2 play it on ur terms..germs do tht

k..drop liv

bt wat arse do is foolish lack o adaptation...eithr u impose gud or adapt bettr...thts da rule..dey js dun fit 2 it

Siva: thts wat is imposition, u don depend on anyone, u dont think abt the opponent

3:44 PM but i dont want them to fit into it

me: bt den doesnt mattr much if da opponent doesnt feel uncomfy wid ur game

Siva: i don want them to adapt

3:45 PM i jus want to be delighted' :)

me: bt den proper talented pacy football cnt be justified as gr8 unless it works undr pressure ryt

lol

Siva: the results will come, eventually

me: eventually!! dude!! 4 yrs already widout results!! watdya want 2 wait 4?

Siva: dude, i am a spectator, nd i think as one, i don wanna think as a business man who owns arsenal

3:46 PM nd want results

nd money

me: arre..bt as a spectator too...

3:47 PM hw cud u accept a game as beautiful if it is so rigid tht it doesnt chnge it's style 2 win..it's lyk u come on a stage 2 show ur talent, bt wat talent is justified wen it doesnt show ur capabilities as a winner wid tht skill

Siva: ok wait

lemme explain

me: in financial analogy, da working at arse is similar 2 mindset o da ex lehmann bros ceo

hmmm

Siva: u want to win, to achieve.

n i never likd tht

me: nanana hold it!!

Siva: i hv never been a fan of achievers

3:48 PM i myself never wanted to be at the top

i jus want certain qualities which wud be very nice, i dont care if they don win

3:49 PM as i said, i'm not a business man

me: hmmm...

sir, ek question..

Siva: ya

3:50 PM me: ur nt actually takin dis as a heated debate no?

Siva: no, i am trying to open up ur mind to diversity !!

me: wo sab bas thoda emotions ka flo hai...

accha ab suno..

neithr hv i evr been fan o topers n dominators

3:51 PM i detest fedex coz he's gt a long spell up dere untouchd..n i hate 2 see it rot untouchd widout resistance...it's unjust

so i luv nadal, coz he dares 2 wake da giant 4m his sleep...make him doubt his capabilities once in a while...

Siva: i think fed ex is awesome again fr the same reason, his game is delightful

3:52 PM me: so tht he's able 2 jsutify his dominance tym n again...

see...

Siva: its nice tht it has resulted in him bing a topper

me: if nadal ws a delight 2 watch js as fed..yeah i lyk his game 2...bt hd nadal been js tht n nuffin else...

Siva: but the bottomline is tht he plays delightful tennis

me: i wud hv detested him...

3:53 PM nw anothr point...

dere's nothin wrng in appreciatin delightful game...

bt if u see sum1 playin "delightful" as always...

3:54 PM n ends up losin da game...elevated by da fact tht da game ws nt suitable 2 da condition..note fedex here..den i wudnt be ammused...coz no matter hw much i luv da game n style

dere wud be a part o me sayin..."well he did play stupid actually" n dat wont gimme delight

3:55 PM thts da prob i find wid arse

period

Siva: ok

me: no doubt ovr the fcer in himself..t tht each one o dem in=s an entertain

8no doubt each one o dem is an entertainer himself

3:56 PM Siva: did u notice tht all thru this conversation, u hav talkd abt u , ur taste, nd ur likings ??

me: bt wat use if u find urslf cursin at da tv, sayin hell man, dis is no tym 4 chivalrous play..play wid sum sense

Siva: try to look at it frm outside of U

not everyone wants wat U want

me: arre baba, thts wat am askin u..by tryin 2 luk into ME

Siva: u jus can generalize on the basis of wat u want

3:57 PM me: tht hw cud u manage 2 lyk da game 4 such reasons

Siva: bcoz i'm difrnt from U

coz i want deifrnt things

me: bt i wanna undrstnd it 4m ur perspectve 2 naa

Siva: i take delight in difrnt things wen compared to U

3:58 PM me: arre thts gud...bt i wanna undrstnd it..js tht

Siva: i hav explained it all thru

me: except one point..da core point...

Siva: wat is the core point ?

3:59 PM me: hw cn u forgive sum player 4 da wrng approach js so he cud show sum nyc entertainin stuff tht backfires instead o workin 4 him..

js tht...nuffin else..js dis point tht is da stndoff bw me n arsenal fans

4:00 PM Siva: "wrong" is not the correct word

its a difrnt approach

me: hmmm..

Siva: which delights scores of ppl jus as any other

me: i kinda undrstnd now...

continue

4:01 PM hw does it delight people..js da mere fct of display o dose skills?

Siva: display is also the wrong word

they r doing it

4:02 PM me: i dun undrstnd..

u mean...its natural 2 dem?

Siva: nd they hav been doing it sincea long time, nd their purpose is not to display

its their way of playing football

me: hmm

Siva: and my taste is concurrent with them

nd so is tht of amny other ppl

4:03 PM me: hmmm....

ohk...i guess i am actually seein da oder syd...

Siva: u shld try to see more !

me: it's deir game...in a not weak mannr, dey cnt help it

Siva: try to talk to some chelsea fan some time ..

For those of you, who have read thus far, here's the deal. I always knew, understood rather, the fact that no two individuals are same in their thoughts, ideas, working, etc. That is the obvious deal with nature, else the existence of me or this blog would have to be a matter of doubt! But as to how this happened, how did it occur to man consciously or sub consciously to be different, to be unique, as to how each individual chose his/her own identity, and along with it likes, dislikes, passions etc., i had only a simple, almost mute answer... one with which i was never satisfied. For me, each person's individuality depended on a set of thoughts, objects, subjects, phenomenons and incidents and his/her uniqueness was defined by what view he/she held on those sets. As was clear to me, every such thought, object, subject, phenomenon or incident can have two outcomes for an individual- like or dislike. Sikke ke do pehlu. And thus these sets of likes and dislikes would set apart one individual's mindset from other's. Although this allowed for large number of permutations, the number was always dependent upon the quantity of thoughts applied. That is, the more the individuals thought about various things, more different combinations. But what of those who thought less or nothing at all? Could they agree with anyone, and if so, how could their agreement count? Moving away from mathematics, there was also a question of magnitude and absolutes... the world doesn't end at yes or no...there are endless possiblities between them. It doesn't remain a question of favouritism, but also the intensity of favouritism. How then can one proclaim his individuality, what with endless blends of ideas and values. How can a man define his integrity?

Today's chat brought it all to me. Both me and sir were supporting two clubs, known to have no single similarity... two poles of a league..arch rivals. And we debated furiously...i debated furiously, trying to prove how wrong he was to favour that club. We both had our reasons, proper, valid, justified; furthermore not only to self, but on proper consideration to the other too. And yet after all the considerations, i couldn' figure what could he see good in something which i can't. And i found that we both had the same thoughts about most of the things, how we define them and stuff...but for one single reason in the very structure we set our philosophies on! Do you see how it works?? Not only does an indvidual define his uniqueness by claiming his set of values for certain aspects, his individuality also depends on the foundations of thought that make him choose those very set of values. The building blocks of one's uniqueness are his integrity building thoguhts, basic, uninfluenced... but these very units are unque coz they form untis which themselevs inturn cause distinction of personality!!

This would certainly mean that in order to understand someone, it is not always enough to accept the values defined by an individual. It often takes us to accept the underlying logic(?) to understand them too! Perhaps next time i watch Arsenal play, i might actually survive the 2 halves without a sign of disgust...

but the Man U fan that i am...i still would understand one aspect of arsenal's game...

It sucks big tym and ur big snobby arses!! HAHAHA

Go UNITED!!! :P

A conversation: Roark and Mallory

2008-09-19T23:33:00.000+05:30

He studied the drawings for a long time, then raised his head. Everything about

his face was controlled, except his eyes.

"Like it?" Roark asked.

"Don’t use stupid words."

He held one of the drawings, walked to the window, stood looking down the sketch

to the street to Roark’s face and back again.

"It doesn’t seem possible," he said. "Not this--and that." He waved the sketch

at the street.

There was a poolroom on the corner of the street below; a rooming house with a

Corinthian portico; a billboard advertising a Broadway musical; a line of

pink-gray underwear fluttering on a roof.

"Not in the same city. Not on the same earth," said Mallory. "But you made it

happen. It’s possible....I’ll never be afraid again."

"Of what?"

Mallory put the sketch down on the table, cautiously. He answered:

"You said something yesterday about a first law. A law demanding that man seek

the best....It was funny....The unrecognized genius--that’s an old story. Have

you ever thought of a much worse one--the genius recognized too well?...That a

great many men are poor fools who can’t see the best--that’s nothing. One can’t

get angry at that. But do you understand about the men who see it and don’t want

it?"

"No."

"No. You wouldn’t. I spent all night thinking about you. I didn’t sleep at all.

Do you know what your secret is? It’s your terrible innocence."

Roark laughed aloud, looking at the boyish face.

"No," said Mallory, "it’s not funny. I know what I’m talking about--and you

don’t. You can’t know. It’s because of that absolute health of yours. You’re so

healthy that you can’t conceive of disease. You know of it. But you don’t really

believe it. I do. I’m wiser than you are about some things, because I’m weaker.

I understand--the other side. That’s what did it to me...what you saw

yesterday."

"That’s over."

"Probably. But not quite. I’m not afraid any more. But I know that the terror

exists. I know the kind of terror it is. You can’t conceive of that kind.

Listen, what’s the most horrible experience you can imagine? To me--it’s being

left, unarmed, in a sealed cell with a drooling beast of prey or a maniac who’s

had some disease that’s eaten his brain out. You’d have nothing then but your

voice--your voice and your thought. You’d scream to that creature why it should

not touch you, you’d have the most eloquent words, the unanswerable words, you’d

become the vessel of the absolute truth. And you’d see living eyes watching you

and you’d know that the thing can’t hear you, that it can’t be reached, not

reached, not in any way, yet it’s breathing and moving there before you with a purpose of its own. That’s horror. Well, that’s what’s hanging over the world,

prowling somewhere through mankind, that same thing, something closed, mindless,

utterly wanton, but something with an aim and a cunning of its own. I don’t

think I’m a coward, but I’m afraid of it. And that’s all I know--only that it

exists. I don’t know its purpose, I don’t know its nature."